Shock Top Belgian White
Type: It thinks it's a Belgian Style Wheat
Receptacle: 12 ounce bottle someone brought to my house and left here.
Drinkability (1 being Jim Jones' kool-aid, 10 being the nectar of the gods): 5
All 5 points go to the fact that I can drink it with ease. No points go to the fact that this is the shittiest excuse for a Belgian White I've ever had. Maybe a small bit of citrus detected but the coriander is non-existent. Did they just waft a bowl of coriander over the top of the brewing tank and call it good?
Look I don't like to get all beer snob with these but for fuck's sake look at the label in the photo. If you advertise coriander, you better deliver some god damn coriander.
Heartiness (1 being fresh mountain spring water, 10 being a pureed British steak infected with mad cow disease): 4
Hearty? If Karen Carpenter was a bottled beer, this would be it.
Intoxication (1 being your friend's weird pentecostal grandmother high on Jesus, 10 being Boris Yeltsin on a week long bender in the Crimea): 5
It's 5.2% so I suppose it'll get you drunk, if I chose to drink more of this shit.
Celebrities You May See Drinking This Brew: Jim Edmonds. Fucker is probably sucking one back now.
Affordability ($ being chicklets in Tijuana, $$$$ being diamond encrusted braised lamb shank from a trendy cafe on the Champs d'Elysee): $$: As far as six packs of "microbrews" go, I don't think it's too terribly expensive, but why the fuck bother? If you really want this beer then go get some Goose Island 312, or even some Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat. I cannot tell you enough how incredibly not good this beer is.
This beer is as phony as the crappy "microbrewery" that makes it. I have a hard time liking much of anything in St. Louis, and Shock Top certainly doesn't help matters. If you must drink St. Louis beer then I wholly endorse the fine brews from Schlafly. Check those out instead of this pee water.