Cubs Express Interest in Signing Roberto Clemente

December 15, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

In a disappointing offseason of unsubstantiated or unfulfilled rumors, new reports are coming out about the latest player the Cubs are supposedly eyeing.  Hall of famer Roberto Clemente.

When asked about the validity of this, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said, "Absolutely.  Clemente would fill our hole in center field.  He's an amazing hitter, an outstanding fielder, and is a role model to every Hispanic player we have.  The impact he'd have on our team would be tremendous!"

Hendry was then asked if he realized Clemente has been deceased for nearly 37 years.  "Huh?  Of course I know he's dead.  Did you honestly think I thought we could sign him for 2010?  I was just saying that it'd be nice to have him as our center fielder, just like it'd be nice to have Mike Cameron, or J.J. Putz, or Matt Capps, or Jason Bay, or Chone Figgins, or Curtis Granderson, or John Lackey, but that's not happening either!"