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Posted by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan on May 18, 2016

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This is what happens when you do a Google image search for "Jimmy Nelson"

Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

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Thunder Matt's Trophy Room

Thunder Matt's Trophy Room honors all those, that have felt the wrath of Murton's mighty bat. I have to say that I couldn't have put this together without the help of the outstanding HR Log feature at Baseball-Reference.com. A few facts about Murton's career home runs so far.

Only two pitchers have surrendered multiple homers to Thunder Matt. Wandy Rodriguez and Aaron Harang.Jamie Moyer gave up Murton's 20th career homer. When Moyer first debuted in the majors, Murton was 4 years old.Randy Johnson marks the first Hall of Famer that Murton has hit a homer on.

A Completely Arbitrary Ranking of the Trumps

I've tried really hard to keep politics away from TMS, lest we turn into the next Deadgawkerspin, but god damn it, we have a new first family coming in and everyone likes rankings. So here, have a completely arbitrary ranking of the Trumps. Sorry Ivana - current Trumps only!

1) Barron - He's 10, likes to wear suits, and as we all know, is good with The Cyber. Such talent. Wow. He also rides lions. Do you? Yeah, I thought not. Also, by virtue of being the youngest Trump, he has committed the fewest crimes against humanity. BTW, is that lion in blackface? Jesus...

2) Melania - So what if she's a plagiarist. So what if her discount Bucharest boob job made her nipples point at the sky. People assure me she's classy. Also, have a fucking heart. Donald is long overdue to trade her in on a newer model. She'll be shipped back to the Soviet Block in her original packaging and he'll bring in the latest grunting tennis prodigy from Belarus.

3) Tiffany - Oh Tiffany. As far…

Fuck Jim Edmonds

Pardon my language, but there's no other way to put it. Fuck Jim Edmonds. I don't like his jerkoff name. I don't like his jerkoff face. I don't like his jerkoff declining skills. And I don't like him (jerkoff).

The Cubs are expected to sign Jim Edmonds some time today. Can you think of a more un-Cub thing that could possibly happen? Should we bring in Mark McGwire and Matt Morris while we're at it?

I guess the Cubs front office wants some kind of left handed bat in center to split time with Reed Johnson. Here are my thoughts:
Edmonds will be taking Pie's spot on the roster, but is he really any better? Who has the better batting average this year? Pie. More homers? Pie. More RBI's? Pie. Better OBP? Pie. Better defense? Pie. Soooo...why are we bringing in Edmonds again?Let's just say that Pie is the next Corey Patterson and we do need to look elsewhere for a lefty in center. How about that new fella in right? Kosuke Fukudome played some center field in …

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