American Idol Update: Week 4

March 11, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Governor X

Last week I promised the American Idol Update would be shorter to please the focus groups, which continue to tell me these posts are as popular as a double feature of Norbit and Meet Dave. Even though Idol unexpectedly continues to drone on for two hours, I will keep my word bringing only the highlights and lowlights to you, the dear reader and Idol Addict.

It was Michael Jackson week which promised to provide lots of awful performances and it certainly didn't disappoint. Out of thirteen contestants, I absolutely loathed ten, tolerated one, and liked two. The two good ones were Jasmine who did I'll Be There and Alexis who sang Dirty Diana. Naturally, the judges were lukewarm at best to both performances. They don't like Jasmine at all for some reason. I suspect they, like Cap Anson, hate black people. Yes, this includes Randy. He's an Uncle Tom. Seriously, what self respecting black man would have played bass for Journey and the Divinyls?

There were so many bad performances, but one really stood head and shoulders above (or below?) the rest. Megan's rendition of Rockin' Robin was so awful, she's already been chosen by the Vote for the Worst crowd. The song itself is something I would expect to hear at a elementary school talent show, and she shrieked and gyrated her way through it like she was hopped up on drugs. To cap off the truly awful performance, she yelled CAW! CAW! when it was over. Her intro video was all about how much she missed her kid, so I think she may have been tanking it so she can go home.