Underrated: John Salmons

March 28, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

Who? That's right, it's John Salmons son. You've probably never heard of him, because you don't follow the NBA, but this Wesley Snipes doppelganger can play, buhleedat. Remember when everyone was bitching that that Bulls didn't trade for Amar'e Stoudemire and "only" got Brad Miller and this Salmons cat? Of course you don't remember, because you don't give a shit about the NBA. (Which is also why this is getting posted on the weekend. Tumbleweeds up in this joint.)

For the record, since the obtaining Grilled Salmonz, the Bulls have gone from playoff outsiders to the number 7 seed. Salmons is putting up a cool 21 points per game while hitting 50% of his shots and 41% from downtown. He can create his own shot (also an underrated skill), pop a trey, fake the funk on a nasty dunk, and wouldn't you know, he can D it up too. More clutch than Snipes in Passenger 57, and he pays his taxes on time to boot.

Meanwhile, Drew Gooden's Amish beard is rotting on San Antonio's bench and Andres Nocioni is still scrappy but sucky in Sacramento. (Wasn't that a Tom Hanks movie?) Don't underestimate the Brad Miller effect either. There's something to be said for fundamental basketball and doing the little things in this post-9/11 NBA. The Salmonz effect even seems to have made Tyrus Thomas into a legitimate basketball player.

John Paxon, you've earned a reprieve.

John Salmons, son.