Anyway, enough about the Scrubs for now. There's more important things to talk about, like: The 2006 TMS Fantasy Hurricane League. That's right, to further cement our seats on the bus straight to hell, we've devised a fantasy leagues for the upcoming hurricane season, which has been predicted to be huge.
So here's the premise. Each member of the Saloon participated in a four-round draft. Each member picked from the list of 2006 hurricane names that will be used this season. Alberto had already become a Tropical Storm at the time of the draft so that pick was not allowed. Once the draft concluded, each Saloon member had a team of four possible hurricanes to earn points with. The scoring will go as such.
STORM STATUS POINTS
- Become Tropical Storm = 5 Points
- Category 1 Hurricane = 10 Points
- Category 2 = 20 Points
- Category 3 = 30 Points
- Category 4 = 40 Points
- Category 5 = 50 Points
- United States = 50 Points
- Mexico = 30 Points
- Cuba = 20 Points
- Hispaniola (Haiti/Domincan Republic) = 20 Points
- Central American Countries = 10 Points each
- The following Caribbean nations = 5 points each:
- Antigua and Barbuda
- Virgin Islands (British and U.S. count as one)
- Cayman Islands
- Puerto Rico
- Saint Lucia
- Trinidad and Tobago
- Mass Evacuations = 30 points per state
- County/Parish declared disaster area = 10 points per county/parish
Whichever team earns the most points at the conclusion of hurricane season wins.
The draft was held last week. We went with a serpentine draft to keep with true fantasy league formats. The order went as such:
- Chaim Witz
- Brant Brown
- Governor Gray Davis
- Chip Wesley
- Chi-Town Girl
CHAIM: My pick is Ernesto. Hurricane Prospectus has Ernesto as "a blue chip prospect with a bad attitude and a appetite for destruction. Also goes by the nickname 'Motherfucker'".
CHIP: With the fourth pick in the 2006 Hurricane Fantasy Draft, Chip Wesley selects: Hurricane Florence.
"Not as blockbuster as previous picks, but Flo has all the intangibles that Chip likes in his storms. Not much is known about Flo but scouts say she ranks high on the C5P scale (Category 5 Potential).
CHI-TOWN: I've spoken with Mike Hodges and he's told me that he's cut a deal with Ming the Merciless from the planet Mongo. They have assured him that Hurricane Michael will be topping the charts this year. Appropriately, I will be also selecting Hurricane Gordon in case the deal falls through.
Chi-Town Girl made Gordon her 2nd round pick.
CHIP: My pick is Debby. This will keep my all-chick hurricane team plus I get dibs on all "Debby Does the Dominican" jokes. Ba-dum-ching!
GOV: GovernorGrayDavis picked Helene because its similar to Helena, his favorite city in Montana and My Chemical Romance song. He has nothing to offer at this point.
BRANT: With the 9th pick overall, Brant Brown selects: Hurricane Leslie.
CHAIM: Chaim Witz selects Hurricane Kirk (Cameron), "a whirling dervish of death and broken dreams", and Hurricane Sandy who, as a freshman "was not much more than a glorified fart...an undersized tweener who makes up for lesser physical skills with heart, passion and galeforce."
at this point our banter wore down so here is the remaining picks without the witty remarks.
12. BRANT - Tony
13. GOV - Oscar
14. CHIP - Joyce
15. CHI-TOWN - Nadine
16. CHI-TOWN - Patty
17. CHIP - Beryl
18. GOV - Rafael
19. BRANT - Valerie
20. CHAIM - William
And here's how the teams shaped up.
We'll be updating the league progress as the season heats up.