Welcome to the Jungle

June 19, 2006 | Comments (1) | by Chaim Witz

Far be it for me to be the typical 'woe is me' Cubs fan, but...woe is fucking me! charades and call a spade a spade here. Lets all quit the We stink. There is no light at the end of the tunnel this year (what, Wade Miller's return?). No playoff hopes. .500 even seems way too idealistic.

The thing is, we're not even competitive in the games we lose. Teams like the Pirates, Marlins and Devil Rays...they may lose their fair share as well but at least they are young, competitive and fun to watch. Right now being a Cubs fan is downright painful. Embarassing. Makes you pine for the Jim Riggleman/Tom Trebblehorn era.

Well on one positive note, my dad and I went to Saturday's game and had killer seats, 10 rows behind home plate. Pretty cool to be at a vantage point where you can actually see the curveball curve and slider slide. Unfortunately when the Cubs pitched, many of the pitches didn't make it to the catcher's mitt, as they were promptly sent soaring to detention in the bleacher seats. It was a day of celebrity sightings as well. Said hi to Ryno when we walked right by him. Jeremy Bonderman's dad sat right behind us (his first time to Wrigley). And one row in front of us, about 10 seats down was Gonzaga's finest, Adam 'Hagar the Horrible' Morrison. Looking like an gangly 14 year old going for the "Dazed and Confused" look and still groveling over Kurt Cobain's death. Oh, the new Wrigley footlongs with the grilled onions are really good.

I think Jeremy Piven put it best yesterday when he was in the booth after the 7th inning stretch when he asked "Are we watching B.P. here? The actual game hasn't started yet has it?" That's what I feel like...this is extended spring training right? The season hasn't started yet has it?

*As an interesting aside, Jeremy Piven yelled his catchphrase, "Let's hug it out bitches!" after the 7th inning stretch. That was a no no. He was supposed to yell "Let's hug it out Cubs fans", but justifiably thought that sounded too queer. It provided the one entertaining moment of yesterday's game.


Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan @ 4:11 PM, June 19, 2006

Wow, Adam Morrison. He's on my top 5 "Type I diabetics I'd like to meet" list. Right between Ron Santo and Bret Michaels.