Realm of Red: Redhead of the Week

June 28, 2006 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

Each week (or so) I will profile various redheads who paved the way for our own Thunder Matt. These men and women opened doors (often times kicking them in due to their fiery tempers) that would have otherwise kept Thunder Matt toiling in Independent Baseball leagues, shagging fly balls in Newark and frequenting seedy hotels. We tip our Cubs hats to these fair-skinned pioneers.

Today's Redhead: Lion-O

Thundercats, always the red-headed stepchild (pun intended) to Transformers, ran from 1985-1990. Don't ask me on what channel. Like I said, I was too busy watching Transformers. Anyway, Lion-O was the Lord of the Thundercats. According to Wikipedia, Lion-O has some sort of sword that 'is no longer than a dagger but can extend to full size during battle'. Ok, that is just gross and is obviously a not-so-subtle reference to his boner. Though judging from the nearly pornographic rendering to the right, Lion-O appears to have no genitalia whatsoever. (Cue the 'Unsolved Mysteries' music. Weiner tingles.)

Lion-O, an admitted alcoholic, was always jealous over the attention that He-Man received, so much so that he once snuck onto the He-Man set, where drunk on Pinot, he heckled the blonde hero with taunts of 'Gaywad!' and 'Murderer!'

For a while he and Cheetara were a rumored item, but his lack of a discernible penis, fiery temper and drunken rambles led to their demise. She was also totally weirded out by the odd lack of pigment or coloration around his mouth and eyes. Said Cheetara, "Even after the show went off the air, he would always yell 'Thunder, thunder, thunder, THUNDERCATS HO!' I was like 'Wow, seriously just stop. That's just annoying. Duh. (Clapping hands together and yelling at Lion-O, standing off camera) Don't threaten to hit me asshole! I will take you down!"

In the mid-90's Lion-O tried to revive his career with a couple of straight to video releases, including 'Orange Crush' where he played a aging wrestler making the rounds in the southern independent circuit (co-starring Lex Luger, playing himself) and 'Jumping Jacks With Lion-O' a workout video that charted at number 3007 on the workout video list, ranking right behind this video.

Since then, Lion-O has held a variety of odd jobs, including one of those construction worker who hold the 'Slow' sign on the highway, one of those guys who responds to the 'Smoke weed! Get paid!' advertisements in the classifieds and a brief stint as a roving scout for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Lion-O currently resides in Fort Dodge, Iowa, working as a shift manager at J-Mar Burgers.