A Fast Food Enigma

February 09, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

I'd say on average I go out for lunch at least three days out of the work week. When I go out, I usually stick to fast food joints since I can grab my food and just head back to work to eat. The sucky part though, is the dearth of choices in the general proximity of my job. Essentially when I go out I have the following choices
  • McDonald's (The closest drive for me, thus usually the lazy default choice)
  • Wendy's (Eh, nothing is that great about Wendy's but their drive-thru is extremely fast)
  • Hardee's (Usually I have a death wish to go here. Never, have I eaten Hardee's then immediately said, "I'm glad I ate that.")
  • Taco Bell (Nice change from the burgers, but their drive-thru is the exact opposite of Wendy's. It usually takes at least 15 minutes to get through, and that's when you're the only car)
  • Subway (This franchise can go to hell. They offer nothing that you can't get a better version of somewhere else.)
  • Quizno's (One just opened nearby. I give them 2 years before the idiots can make a sandwich at a normal speed)
  • Checkers (You know what, let's just forget I mentioned this as it really is not a legitimate option. Even I have standards)
So anyway, I was feeling lazy so I went to McDonalds for lunch today. I ordered the quarter pounder with cheese value meal. Everything goes smoothly and I get back to work and take out my burger that is in the box clearly marked "Quarter Pounder with Cheese". I open it up and proceed to take off the top bun to remove the pickles and onions. Please don't ask me why I don't just order the burger plain if I'm removing the pickles and onions. I just find it easier to do it myself then having to ask them to make it plain, only to trigger mass chaos in the kitchen, and be told to pull off to the side while they try to concoct a burger without toppings, and 50% of the time I still end up with crap on it.

Back to the subject at hand, I remove the pickles and just then I look at my burger and realized it looked kind of funny. Instead of the standard brownish-grey disc of bovine carcass I've grown to know and love, I instead see a golden breaded square. Yep, they slapped a fish filet on the bun and proceeded to top it with the standard kethcup, mustard, pickles, and onions that a quarter-pounder would receive. Now I understand accidents happen and if I got a straight up Filet-O-Fish sandwich in a quarter-pounder box I would be upset but would deal with it. But this is just weird. Obviously the person putting the toppings on had to notice it was fish and not a burger. So there can only be two obvious scenarios here.
  1. The McDonalds staff likes playing the occasional joke and flip-flop their sandwiches around.
  2. The retard making my sandwich obviously can't look at the pretty picture diagram of how sandwiches are put together and properly decipher the difference between a burger and a deep-fried piece of pollock.
I'm literally at a loss here. I guess it could be worse, I could've ordered a fish sandwich and instead got a burger with tartar sauce slathered on it. No way that would even be remotely salvageable.

Oh well. Now if you excuse me I have a fish-burger to eat.