Tecmo Super Bowl XLI

8:49 AM | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

It had been nearly two weeks since I last heard from the TMSSS2000. After the disaster that were his AFC/NFC championship predictions our favorite Tecmo simulator went into seclusion. I eventually found him holing up at the downtown YMCA, reeking of cigarettes and Night Train Express. His melancholy, down on his luck attitude wasn't so much about the bad sims from a couple weeks ago as it was from the news of Barbaro's death.

Like any classic 80's movie, just imagine me then delivering some inspirational speech to TMSSS2000, convincing him to get back into game shape and deliver just one more simulation for the Super Bowl, or else the hot dog stand at the ski camp will be taken over by the rich bully played by Billy Zabka. Then, just picture some long training montage with this song playing in the background.

Come on! You can't let Billy Zabka win!

So without further ado, here is the TMSSS2000 Version 2.0 bringing you Super Bowl XLI

Indianapolis Colts vs. Chicago Bears

Welcome to the most overhyped sporting event of the year! You can feel the 8-bit excitement as both teams have been introduced and we're ready to get underway.

Chicago wins the toss and elects to receive. Devin Hester gets things off right for the Bears with a nice return to the 50 yard line.

After an incomplete pass, Cedric Benson breaks away for a big gain and takes the Bears down to the 20 yard line. Grossman throws an incompletion, then finds Bernard Berrian in double coverage for a gain of 14.

On second and goal at the 6, Grossman dumps a short pass off to Thomas Jones who scores the touchdown (0-7 Bears). Chicago comes out swinging and puts the pressure on Indy early.

Colts begin their drive rather conservatively, running the ball on their first two plays for little to no gain. On third down, Manning drops back to pass, only to get sacked on the blitz by Brian Urlacher. Colts go 3 and out and punt.

Starting on their own 33 yard line. Benson breaks out for another big run taking it to the Colts 46. This is followed up with Benson fumbling on the very next play. Gilbert Gardner recovers and the Colts are back in business.

As the second quarter begins, the Colts continue their drive as Manning connects deep to Reggie Wayne, who takes it down to the 11. Peyton then proceeds to throw an incompletion before being sacked twice by Ogunleye and Ayanbadejo. TMSSS2000 begins to bitch to me that these names are too hard to spell and asks if we can change them to Dent and Hampton.

Vinatieri misses a 46 yard field goal. Perhaps his postseason magic was left behind in Foxboro.

Taking over at the 28, the Bears continue to feed the ball to Cedric Benson who drives them down to the Indy 42. After being sacked by Rob Morris, Grossman forces a bad pass on the next play which is picked off by Bob Sanders.

Manning, begins another drive, this time finding his man Marvin Harrison down at the Chicago 38. Another pass to Wayne gets them to the 22 yard line and the Colts are once again threatening to score.

Two incompletions and a 1 yard Joseph Addai run later and Vinatieri is kicking a 40 yard field goal to make it 3-7 Bears.

The Bears run a couple plays as time expires and we head to half time.

Being a huge Prince fan, the TMSSS2000 was pissed that he didn't sing Darling Nikki.

The Colts get the ball to start the half and do nothing with it going 3 and out.

Grossman throws for incompletion, Grossman throws for incompletion, Grossman throws for incompletion, Chicago punts.

Wow just like most Super Bowls, the TMSSS2000 is simulating this game to be equally boring apparently. The commercials haven't been too bad though. Being originally made in 1991, the TMSSS2000 has been playing Super Bowl commercials from back then. Oh MC Hammer, you really like your Pepsi don't you? Proper!

Finally some signs of life here as Manning connects with Dominic Rhodes on a short pass who breaks a tackle rumbles down to the 16. Peyton then appeared to take a page out of the Sexy Rexy playbook: Manning throws for incompletion, Manning throws for incompletion, Manning throws for incompletion. Vinatieri hits a 33 yard field goal (6-7 Bears).

Hester returns the kickoff close to the 50 again and the Bears are looking to widen their lead once more.

Benson still finding openings, has another big run, taking it down to the 21 yard line. Grossman throws a couple more incompletions before being sacked by Rob Morris for a huge loss. Robbie Gould then misses a 49 yard FG attempt.

Now in the fourth quarter, Manning and company try to take the lead as Joseph Addai takes them into Bears territory on a screen pass. The drive stalls however and being out of field goal range, the Colts are forced to punt.

The Bears are controlling the clock and are keeping the ball on the ground with runs by Jones and Benson. Benson once again breaks loose on a big run only to fumble for the second time today. The refs clear the pile on the ball and Bob Sanders has come up with it. The Colts get another chance.

With time winding down, Peyton finds Reggie Wayne on two consecutive plays and gets them down to the 8 yard line. With three seconds on the clock, Indy takes their final timeout as Adam Vinatieri heads out on the field for yet another chance to be a postseason hero. This should be a chip shot for him, and it is. The Colts win 9-7 on a field goal from Adam Vinatieri as time expires.




Adam, you son of a bitch!






Well that blows. The Bears defense did everything in their power to hold the Colts offense, but their own offense couldn't get the job done. This is sort of similar to how the Colts/Ravens game played out.

Super Bowl MVP, undoubtedly goes to Adam Vinatieri, who saved Manning's butt. Peyton may have his ring, but it was his kicker that earned it for him. Wait, why am I talking like this actually happened? For all I know (and hope), the Bears will trounce them.

Well that's it from us here at Tecmo Stadium. See you next year as a revamped and retooled TMSSS2000 will bring you more 8-bit entertainment.

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