The Bob Brenly Effect

July 23, 2006 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

Here at the Saloon, a riotous mob is being formed and readied for an all out assault on Wrigley Field, complete with angry villagers, burning torches, mossy stones and witty insults. The purpose. To oust Dusty 'The Bobblehead' Baker from his job as Cubs, and I use this term loosely, 'manager'.

Unfortunately, Cubs management seems content to "wait this one out" and it seems as though even a Million Man March would have little to no effect on the Cubs brass, who must be confusing their W-L record with the other team in Chicago.

Why the dragging of the feet by Hendry and Company? Call it the Bob Brenly Effect (BBE). Dusty's contract is up at the end of the year. It is painfully obvious to everyone (except maybe Dusty himself; at this point I think even his kid knows) that he will not be re-signed. Cubs management, so the theory goes, is interested in Brenly, who after two years, knows the club more than any other incoming manager would, and has a World Series ring to boot.

So why not fire Dusty and bring in Bob right now? Well first off, I think that the brass know that the players that make up the current roster are, for the most part going to the be the players that finish out the year. And not mincing words, these players suck. Not to absolve Dusty and his staff from responsibility or anything, but any manager thrown into the fire now at this point in the season would just be spinning his wheels. Maybe they win some games due to the fact that they have a competent skipper, but a 'turnaround' of any sorts would be highly unlikely, even if Jesus took the wheel.

Then, according to the BBE, you have the fact that Bob and his goatee make up one half of their television broadcasting crew. I mean, sure it could be argued that you could replace him with Dave Otto...but Dave Otto? Len and Bob are finally starting to hit their stride and get comfortable together, with Brenly having experience on Fox and the respect of his colleagues (he's no Steve Stone, but that's a whole other post), while Dave Otto's resume includes occasional post game gigs on Comcast Sports Net and the respect of the waitresses at Bennigan's, who claim he tips good, but comes off a bit drunk and overly flirtatious.

So I think the higher ups in Cubs nation hope that, best case scenario, Dusty can string a couple of 3 game winning streaks together, and ride it out the season as a lame duck coach (with of course Dusty "The Bobblehead" under the impression his contract will be renewed immediately following the season). Then they let him go at the end of the year, hire Bob, bring him in some new players, and have the whole offseason to fill his broadcasting slot (swallow your pride and give Stoney a call; that will never happen, but a boy can dream).

Of course, this whole theory is contingent on the Cubs actually winning a few games to tide over the angry mob. If they continue to get swept, the buzz outside of Hendry's office will turn into a roar, and he will reluctantly have to fire Dusty and probably replace him with the dreaded 'interim manager', and then hire Bob after the season is over.

Speaking of 'interim managers' what is Joe Altobelli up to? I'm sure Jim Essian is homeless and could use the work. Or just have Chris Speier finish the year coaching the Cubs while drunk. He'd still fill out a lineup card better than The Bobblehead.