Chaiming In

November 15, 2006 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

  • Here I humbly sit, letting the hate wash over me. I guess I pissed off a few good ole' boys with my Peyton Manning rant. I like the one person who said I wasn't in the "cool click" (grammar police!) in school and am jealous because I'm not as talented as Peyton Manning. Touche sweet lover! Point taken, albeit with a shiteating grin. I mean, saying I'm 'jealous' because I'm not as talented as Peyton Manning. C'mon now. Yes, to the shock of only my mother, I am pretty much untalented at everything save for bocce ball and carefully crafted love letters. I don't think any armchair QB sitting in front of a computer is as talented as ANY position player in ANY sport, including Rick Mirer. To think that I would be jealous of any sports figure is absurd. It may be feasible if I were a die hard fan of some AFC rival with a shitty QB. For instance, if I were a Titans fan in the short lived Neil O'Donnel beard era, then yes, I may have harbored some resentment. But holding no diehard allegiances allows me to hate Peyton Manning with a clear conscience. It's like when Yankee fans say that everybody that hates the Yankees because they are jealous. That theory may have passed muster in the late 90's, but guess what? The Yankees haven't won poop in years and I still hate them. But yes, I am in fact jealous of Peyton Manning and his countless first round playoff exits. You shut your mouth Eli. You're next.
  • First Jerry Rice, now Emmitt Smith reaching the finals on 'Dancing With the Stars'. Are guys actually watching this show and voting? Inconceivable!
  • The Cubs went out and signed Mark DeRosa to be their everyday second baseman. While I like this signing on paper, I would really like to see the position be decided in Spring Training so that Ryan Theriot gets a fair shot. He was one of our lone bright spots during the second half last year and it's a shame that a career utilityman cashing in on his one big year automatically wins the job without a fight. I hope DeRosa can prove me wrong, but I'm mildly disappointed. Just keep telling yourself, 'better than Neifi, better than Neifi'. I"m hoping for a poor man's Michael Young and not a poor man's Mark Belhorn.
  • The quote of the day comes from our friend 'karan' who reports that I am 'prolly a low life on welfare.' (Long pause) Much as I want to, I just can't argue with that.

"My brother is a douchebag!"