Bartender Banter: Spring Fling

March 05, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

Trying to catch two birds with one stone, the Cubs are trotting Wood and Prior out to the mound today against the Mariners. That way if both get injured pitching, it can all happen in one day and we won't be teased with the possibility of the other staying healthy.

While the Wood/Prior injury bugs have been the ongoing joke with Cubs fans for a while now, I think it's bored a seriously deep hole in our psyche. Watching these guys pitch isn't even enjoyable any more. If they're getting lit up, we grumble that something isn't right with them. If they're pitching lights out, we grumble that it's just a matter of time before the other shoe drops, and their arm falls off. I guess the real plus is that our expectations are so low at this point, that any semblance of a healthy season from them would be deemed a success.

Thunder Matt Swinging Well
Murton looked great the other day, going 3-for-3 against the Angels, including a home run off of Joe Saunders. Don't worry Joe, a spring homer doesn't count towards the Trophy Room. Just feel privileged you got to experience the raw awesomeness of Thunder Matt and try to learn from the experience.

Stay Classy, Andy Masur
Andy Masur has left WGN for a job calling games on the radio for the San Diego Padres. Best of luck to Andy. He always seemed like a pretty good guy. My only critique is that when he's calling a game, his tone never changes in spite of what's going on. He sounds the exact same if the Cubs hit a grand slam as he does when they ground into an inning-ending double play. Now I'm not expecting you to be a complete homer like our beloved Ron, but at least Pat gets a tinge of excitement in his voice whenever a ball is soaring towards the fence. I listen to the day games at work through Gameday Audio. Since I work in cubicle-land I have to keep things as Milton says, "at a reasonable volume". Therefore I depend on Pat and Ron's change of voice to recognize if something big just happened. I don't know how many rallies I missed last year while Andy was calling the bottom of the 7th. Actually, the way the Cubs played last year, it probably wasn't many.

Like I Needed Another Reason to Hate Them
Bush league, sore loser, classless, dick move, whatever you wanna call it, Gerald Henderson gave us one more reason to hate the Duke Blue Devils.

I don't get the appeal of them. As far as college sports are concerned I think there are only two legitimate reasons to be a fan of a school.
  1. You grew up in the region, watching and following that school.
  2. You are a student or alum of that school.
That's it. If you don't fall into one of those two categories, I have a little less respect for you. So given that Duke's undergraduate enrollment hovers around 6,000, and that North Carolina natives aren't overly ubiquitous across the country, I think it's safe to assume that most of you "Dookies" are lame-ass posers. These people are just as bad as the ones that in late-2004 suddenly had a Red Sox hat sprout from their head and began to talk like Will Hunting. Bah, I guess I'm never going to understand it. I dread the day the Cubs win the big one, and we see how many "life-long" fans come out of the woodwork.

More to come this week...
Speaking of rooting for college sports, I plan on divulging why the basketball team I grew up cheering for I've grown to loathe....

The NL Central Preview should be up in the next day or so....

The Governor brings us another installment of his James Bond exposé....

And possibly the maiden post from Tommy Buzanis.....maybe? Come on Buzanis! We at least got two articles out of Martin Gramatica before he disappeared into the wilderness to write his manifesto.