50 States/50 Bands: Hawaii to Maryland

November 30, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Governor X

Suffering from insomnia one night, a vision came to me. It was, of course, not particularly useful. It was a vision of me recommending a musical act from each of the 50 states. More motivated than I have been in years, I sat down and hammered it out. Eons came and went. Civilizations rose and fell. Now I'm ready to share my baby with the world in five easy to digest posts. Naturally, the list reflects my own personal biases, so bring on the arguments. In some cases, there was no band or artist I liked from a particular state, and you can generally tell which ones those are.

Those download recommendations with an * can be heard on TMS Radio - so tune in and have a go.

Hawaii - Don Ho - I've got nothing. Jack Johnson was the only other name I recognized and I can‘t in good conscience tell you to download anything he put out. I’ve predicted his music will lead to post office shootings.

Download - Tiny Bubbles

Idaho - Paul Revere and the Raiders - I’m really scraping the bottom of the barrel now. Illinois had better bail my ass out.

Download - Indian Reservation

Illinois - Smashing Pumpkins - Thank you Land of Lincoln. If you were a nerdy, angsty, or gay teenager in the 90's, you owned a lot of Smashing Pumpkins. If you were nerdy, angsty, AND gay, well then bully for you. Their new basist is my neighbor's employee's former girlfriend - take that Dark Helmet! Don't waste your time with their "comeback" CD Zeitgest - stick to the good stuff.

*Download - Zero

Indiana - Michael Jackson - Before his nose fell off and his penchant for touching boys became public knowledge, Jackson was an unstoppable force in the music industry. Last I heard, he was living in Bahrain as a guest of one of the princes there and dressing as a woman (seriously).

Download - Smooth Criminal

Iowa - Donny Brazile - Isn't that Al Gore's old campaign manager? No, thats Donna Brazille. Whatever. Its this asshole or Slipknot. I've made my choice. I think he hit on Brant Brown's fiancee, but I don't remember.

*Download - Wastin' Mine

Kansas - Martina McBride - Another state not giving me much. This country songstress has pretty much been hijacked by the right wing because of the song Independence Day. I guess they don’t know its about an abusive relationship and not “Amuhrika”.

*Download - Where Would You Be

Kentucky - Dwight Yoakam - Dwight left this godforsaken place long ago, but they don’t have much else there. Dwight is carrying on the “Bakersfield Sound” and is one of maybe two or three country artists putting out good music right now. I saw him in concert at an Indian casino - the man is a showman. Dwight also has a bit of an acting career. You might remember him as Doyle Hargraves from Sling Blade.

*Download - Louisville

Louisiana - Louis Armstrong - Louisiana produced all the great jazz artists, but I don't like jazz and they haven’t done much else. Louis is the best of the best.

Download - We Have All the Time in the World

Maine - Vacationland - I don’t know who these people are, but wikipedia says they were compared to Guns N Roses and Marilyn Manson. Good enough for me.

Download anything since I don’t know what they sound like.

Maryland - Good Charlotte - The most famous band to come out of this state. Take that how you will. While the notion of Good Charlotte inspires mockery, they can turn out a catchy song or two every couple years.

*Download - Dance Floor Anthem