Barack Obama's VP is...

12:58 PM | Comments (0) | by T.R.

Speculation is at an all-time high as Barack Obama is expected to announce his running mate in less than 24 hours. Obama has confirmed that the decision has been made, and senior campaign staff are in the process of phoning those not selected. The announcement technically cannot be made until all runners-up have been notified. However, being based in the state of Illinois, and having thrice been arrested and removed from Sen. Obama's campaign office in recent days, we at TMS can confirm that the vice presidential candidate for the Democratic ticket is...

...Dave Otto.

Below are Mr. Otto's career statistics and accomplishments, along with a few quotes from Mr. Otto that we were able to have answered before the secret service ushered us away:

Re: The Environment: "I am aware of the environment".

Re: Healthcare reform: "I am of firm belief that Tommy John surgery should be covered universally, as well as rotator cuff surgery and treatments for tendinitis".

Re: The war in Iraq: "It's hot and hellish over there, like Miami without the nightlife. We need to bring those boys home".

Re: Campaign finance reform: "I never made more than a million bucks playing. But Obama is a money machine, and I'm happy to be on his coattails".

Re: Ron Santo's Hall of Fame candidacy: "I will press President Obama to push Ron Santo Hall of Fame legislation through Congress".

Re: The Dallas Cowboys: "We hope to strip them of the America's Team designation and give it to it's rightful owner, the Chicago Cubs".

G GS GF W L PCT ERA CG SHO SV IP BFP H ER R HR BB IBB JO WP HBP BK HLD
1987 Athletics 3 0 3 0 0 .000 9.00 0 0 0 6.0 24 7 6 6 1 1 0 3 0 0 0 -
1988 Athletics 3 2 1 0 0 .000 1.80 0 0 0 10.0 43 9 2 2 0 6 0 7 0 0 1 -
1989 Athletics 1 1 0 0 0 .000 2.70 0 0 0 6.2 26 6 2 2 0 2 0 4 0 0 0 -
1990 Athletics 2 0 2 0 0 .000 7.72 0 0 0 2.1 13 3 2 3 0 3 0 2 0 0 0 -
1991 Indians 18 14 0 2 8 .200 4.23 1 0 0 100.0 425 108 47 52 7 27 6 47 3 4 0 -
1992 Indians 18 16 0 5 9 .357 7.06 0 0 0 80.1 368 110 63 64 12 33 0 32 5 1 0 -
1993 Pirates 28 8 7 3 4 .429 5.03 0 0 0 68.0 306 85 38 40 9 28 1 30 4 3 0 -
1994 Cubs 36 0 7 0 1 .000 3.80 0 0 0 45.0 200 49 19 20 4 22 4 19 3 1 0 -
G GS GF W L PCT ERA CG SHO SV IP BFP H ER R HR BB IBB JO WP HBP BK HLD
8 Years 109 41 20 10 22 .313 5.06 1 0 0 318.1 1,405 377 179 189 33 122 11 144 15 9 1 -

"......... "
-Dave Otto

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