Chaiming In

August 20, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

Good Lord, I don't have time for this, but it seems like there are tumbleweeds rolling through TMS lately, so here goes nothing.

-The Cubs beat the Communists 5-0 in the first game of the series. All Rich Harden does is rack up double digit strikeouts. No signs of slowing down for this guy. The Cubs looked horrible on the basepaths, but that's ok cause they're playing the Reds. To Dusty's credit he is playing the young guys. But really he has no choice. They traded all of his veterans.

-I'm too lazy to write up a whole review, but I saw Tropic Thunder on Saturday and fail to see what all the hype was about. Lots of Hollywood 'in jokes'. I work in that industry and still found some of that stuff to be a bit stale. There is a funny Tom Cruise cameo, but the more I think about it, the only reason that its funny is because it's so odd to hear Tom Cruise cursing like a sailor and dressed up like in a fat suit, a la Eddie Murphy. (Remember kids...fat suits? Comedy gold!) Rent it for Downey, but go see Pineapple Express instead. Lets say 3 out of 5 stars, which might be a tad generous.

-The Olympics have been good enough to win over even the most jaded cynic. I really enjoyed Shawn Johnson, representing West Des Moines, bringing home the gold in the balance beam and overcoming China's homefield advantage. It's weird. Outside of the Olympics you probably couldn't pay me to watch gymnastics on TV. But every four years, there I am, sitting on the couch, nude and draped in an American flag, tears streaming down my face, whimpering the lyrics to 'Born in the USA'.

-We don't break many stories here, but I've got it on good word that Obama's VP might be none other than the Saloon's own Tommy Buzanis. He's got that 'red state' appeal and will fight for the common man. Actually he probably won't fight for the common man so much as he'll simply fight him. But Tommy tells me that 'Bama (as he calls him) has the number to his Sports Illustrated Football Phone that he keeps on the Orifice Penetrator and that he's been waiting there all week for his call. So far the only people to call are creditors and some guy claiming to be Don Johnson.

Rants: Vodka hangovers, Starbucks breakfast sandwiches, Simpsons references, summer television programming

Raves: Eargasm, Unprofessional Foul, The Handfelt Happy Hour, steak, beach volleyball, the Redeem Team, cocky Jamaicans, new singles from Extreme (!), Candlebox (!!) and Metallica