With the name Saloon included in our moniker, one could surmise that we here at TMS like to drinky drinky. One that would make such an assumption would be correct, thereby throwing out the whole, 'when you assume you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me' bullshit. We also like to plagiarize each other. In the same vein as the Wrigleyville Bar Project, we are proud to bring you another installment of the TMS Beer Project. The premise is simple: we review beers. Each rating will feature a variety of scores from 1-10 and comments from the bartender. This is a public service damn it. We don't want you to be the sucker who pays $15 for a six pack of some overrated Belgian cat piss. Now, we all drink massive amounts of beer so we know what we speak of. Each of us seem to have a favorite style of beer though. Will we be reviewing macrobrews like Bud and Coors? Oh you bet your Aunt Susie's ass we will. For purposes of this science experiment, and it is in the name of science, those will be the "control" group. Use them as a base line for when we review lesser known imports and microbrews. Without further ado, I bring you our next beer:
Brewery: Lagunitas Brewing Company, Petaluma, California
Type: India Pale Ale
Receptacle: 12 oz bottle
Drinkability (1 being Jim Jones' kool-aid, 10 being the nectar of the gods): 5 - Pretty standard pale ale here. Chip Wesley left a bunch of pretentious beer in my fridge at Thunderfist and the only one that has really knocked my dick in the dirt so far was the Dogfish Pale Ale. Alas, I drunkenly threw away that bottle so no Beer Project for that one.
Heartiness (1 being fresh mountain spring water, 10 being a pureed British steak infected with mad cow disease): 6 -Not bad, a little more bitter than some of it's pale ale brethren. I'm probably the biggest puss amongst the bartenders when it comes to dark beer, so if I can drink it no problem, it can't be too hearty.
Intoxication (1 being your friend's weird pentecostal grandmother high on Jesus, 10 being Boris Yeltsin on a week long bender in the Crimea): 6 - This is a totally arbitrary rating, as alcohol content isn't listed on the label. Although it does say that pregnant women should not drink this lager and that it may impair your driving. Take that for what it's worth.
Celebrities You May See Drinking This Brew: Alan Rickman, Gary Sinise, Richard Branson. Anyone pimping a convertible.
Affordability ($ being chicklets in Tijuana, $$$$ being diamond encrusted braised lamb shank from a trendy cafe on the Champs d'Elysee): Ask Chip Wesley. He bought this and I'm too lazy to Google it. Probably more than PBR and less than Cristal.
Overall: 6.5 - This beer isn't something that I would pack up the wagons and head west to procure, but if someone bought a round (or left some in my fridge), I certainly wouldn't go on a disapproving rant. Seems like amongst pale ales, this would be at about the median line. This is the Dennis Quaid of pale ales.