The Gist: Game #127

August 21, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

Cubs 3
Neo-Marxists 2

(Smackin' armrest on chair) Come on!

Thank god we were playing the lowly Reds.  We need to get our heads our of our asses and get some more offense going.  At least Fat Z was pitching today.  Fat Z doesn't wait for his offense to score, he makes his own runs dammit.

Z and Mark DeRosa both went deep today.  Mark DeRosa, there's a guy you gotta appreciate.  Nothing flashy, just goes out and does his job.  Mark DeRosa gets it done.  Mark DeRosa will take your daughter out for a date and bring her home before curfew.  Mark DeRosa will remember to call you if a spot opens up in his golf foresome.  Mark DeRosa will help you re-shingle your roof and not expect anything in return except for a cold beer when you're done.  Mark DeRosa, America's everyman.

How terrible are the Reds?  Folks are talking about Dusty and how he's finally playing his young players.  Uh, have you seen his team?  He has no choice!  No more Griffey, no more Dunn, Ryan Freel, Alex Gonzalez and Jerry Hairston Jr. are all hurt.  Giving him credit for this is like giving him credit for getting out of the bed in the morning or remembering to wear clothes. What the hell do you expect him to do?

Corey Patterson got a hit today.  That brought his AVG up to a robust .196.  Man you just wait until he breaks out.  His upside is crazy!  He's gonna be bigger than Jason Dubois!

We now begin a 3 game series against the Washington Nationals, a team that amazingly is actually worse than the Reds.  They just beat the Phillies to snap a 12 game losing streak.  That takes an impressive level of ineptitude to achieve 12 straight losses.  Based on that information I expect nothing less than 3 complete game shutouts.  Yes I know Marquis is pitching tomorrow.  I stand by my expectations.

That's the thing with this team.  I hate talking to non-Cubs fans about this season because they all say retarded stuff like, "Oh well they'll find a way to screw it up."  Or, "That goat curse will get them, look what happened before."  ENOUGH!  You morans (sic) obviously haven't seen this team.  I'll put this team up against 2007, 2003, 1998 and hell even 1989, which is saying something because that '89 team was the balls.  These guys just know how to win.  In past seasons I would see them down 5-1 in the 5th inning and pretty much write them off.  Not this year.  This season I eagerly await as they manage yet another late game rally.  Dammit, I'm sick of walking on eggshells not wanting to jinx things*.  This team kicks ass and anything short of a World Series trophy is going to be a major disappointment.

In other news the Red Sox lost putting them 4.5 games back of Tampa Bay.  What no one seems to be talking about though is that Minnesota is half a game behind Boston for the Wild Card, and barring a win tonight over the Angels could be tied with them.  Granted the media outlets will be pissed, but the thought of a postseason without the Sox or Yankees makes my weiner tingle with joy.  However the thought of returning to the concrete shithole known as Tropicana Field makes my weiner retreat in fear.

*If the Nats sweep them this weekend I apologize.... but they won't!

Pictured: Josh Fogg, sucks on the mound and in life.