Guarantee This!

September 18, 2006 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

Can we just stop with the guaranteeing victory schtick at this point? Obviously Namath's bold prediction 37 years ago has become legendary, but now any knucklehead within a ten foot radius of a microphone thinks they're being tough and brash by guaranteeing they'll win. It's pretty much lost all of its meaning now. Lions WR Roy Williams is the latest to join the hall of shame for making a stupid guarantee. The Bears defense can pretty much chew up and spit out any offense out there, and for some reason Roy thought it'd be a good idea to fire them up some more. Nice job.

The Bears destroyed the Lions yesterday 34-7, led in part by the spectacular play of Rex Grossman. Grossman went 20-27 passing with 289 yards and 4 touchdowns. One potential mark on his stats, an interception by Boss Bailey, was overturned on a hands-to-the-face penalty on Detroit CB Jamar Fletcher. Grossman's sharp play has fans ecstatic about this year's much more balanced offense. No longer are the Bears relying heavily on grinding the ball down the field with their running game. Bears' receivers seem to be in tune with Rex as Bernard Berrian, Muhsin Muhammad, and Desmond Clark all had a handful of catches.

The Lions offense was led by Jon Kitna. Kitna was brought in this season to lead Detroit's stacked offense (on paper). What with their 3 stud first round receivers they drafted three years in a row, they should have no problem now that they have a reliable QB throwing to them. Oh wait, Roy Williams is the only one of those three that actually plays! Charles Rogers was cut, and Mike Williams was inactive. So instead the Lions started a fearsome trio of Williams, Mike Furrey, and Eddie Drummond. It's amazing the Bears weren't overwhelmed by their awesomeness.
A quick side note about Mike Furrey. He went to the same college as me (University of Northern Iowa), and I can attest that the man is a grade A douchebag. He thought he was King Shit on Turd Mountain because he was the top receiver in I-AA football. After the XFL folded he was back in Cedar Falls hanging out at the bar by himself until someone recognized him and a small crowd formed around him. What a douche. He was hanging out just to play the "Do you know who I am?" card and eventually had a handful of underclassmen drooling over him. That's the sign you know you've made it. When you go undrafted in the NFL and end up playing in some ill-fated football league that collapsed faster than Korey Stringer during two-a-days, then come back to your school so you can go hang out at Sharky's and have all the kids with fake ID's, and are full of Busch Light worship you. Screw you Furrey. You couldn't hold Eddie Berlin's jock.
Anyway moving on, the Bears will head up to Minnesota next week to take on the 2-0 Vikings. This should be Chicago's first real challenge as the Vikes have looked surprisingly good so far this season.