CoY Battle Royale Results: Trout throws a shutout

May 14, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

And with the conclusion of the Paul Reuschel Region the first round of COYBR 2009 is in the books. Again we had 3 blowouts and one close battle. Steve Trout is the hero of the day with the first shutout in COYBR history.

Kevin Foster beats Corey Patterson, 20-3
Mike Bielecki beats Luis Salazar, 13-10
Steve Trout beats Ronny Cedeno, 23-0
Scott Sanderson beats Jacque Jones, 20-3

Thanks for everyone that participated. Here were some of the comments from this round of battles.
  • Kevin Foster wins because he's dead. Jacque Jones wins because he's black...don't want him to feel that Chicago is know.
  • I'm not voting for Luis Salazar and his massive, horse-like teeth. He swung at too many bases-loaded, 2-out, 3-2 fastballs over his head in 1992 for me to ever forgive him.
  • I still hate Jock Jones.
  • Kevin Foster-gosh, he wasn't very good, but he was one of my favorite Cubs of that era. Was that Steve Trout's website or GLAD's? Fuck Ronnie Cedeno. Am I a big loser for actually liking Jacque Jones? He played a pretty god center field for us and the wind generated by his bat helped provide electricity for my hometown. I miss you Super Jock.
  • 2 was the only one I had to think about. My hatred of Patterson, Cedeno, and Jones is still fresh. Cedeno is remembered (by me) as being arguably the dumbest player to ever put on a Cubs uniform. And I suspect that's saying a lot.
  • As a ballplayer in high school, Steve Trout's nickname was "One-Eyed Trouser". Ronnie Cedeno slept with Chad Cordero's dad*.
That's it for now. We'll begin the second round battles next week.

*This is obviously not true and is nothing more than a stupid joke. But alas, Mr. Cordero has no sense of humor and cannot take a joke nor can he simply find better things to do than get angry at middling blogs that hardly anyone reads anyway.