Don't Let the Door Hit You in the Ass, Neal . .

Millions of Cub fans and Lou Pinella's acidic gut rejoice as the Cubs sent struggling left-hander Neal "Aw Shit" Cotts to Iowa today, calling up lefty Jason Waddell. I knew there had to be a lefty in the system somefuckingwhere. Unfortunately, the Cubs also sent down folk hero Bobby Scales, who'd been sidelined with the flu. We'll miss ya, Bobby! Aaron Miles, the only non-Cajun hobbitt on the roster, was placed on the DL. Jake Fox and Andres Blanco were recalled to replace Scales and Miles. No word if Fox is bringing his cape and underoos with him. Every PCL pitcher not on the Iowa roster just let out a giant cheer.

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