Fernando's Musings From the Taqueria

May 25, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

May 18th - 24th

Wet Fart of the Week: The Chicago Cubs - Worst road trip ever. The Cubs drop 6 on the road. The blame lies solely on the limp-wristed offense who only mustered up a measly 5 runs in that 6 game span. Perhaps they're not breathing out of their eyelids appropriately.

Fantasy Sleeper Makes Good: Clayton Richard, White Sox - Those that have been patient were rewarded this past week. Richard finally got his chance in the starting rotation and certainly did not disappoint. In his first two starts, Clay Dick has struck out 11 in 13 IP with only 1 earned run. He currently is 0% owned in Yahoo leagues so my guess is you didn't have him.

Fantasy Sleeper Gone to Pot: Ryan Theriot, Cubs - After all the stud shortstops were gone in the draft, managers then reached for The Riot as a cheap means for AVG and SB. Then the little guy started hitting home runs and folks got even more excited, including Theriot himself. With his new found power, The Riot began calling his shots in batting practice and swinging for the fences in games. After going 2/24 this week with 0 R, 0 RBI, and of course 0 HR, it's obvious his power stroke was fleeting. Looks like the Cubs will have to rely on Aaron Miles for run support instead.

Signs that May is finally arrived: Kosuke Fukudome - Much like lilacs blooming, the Kentucky Derby and Preakness, and Brett Favre flirting with comebacks, Kosuke Fukudome's failings at the plate are a sure sign that it is officially May. Kosuke went 2-16 this past week, but at least one-upped Theriot by actually driving in 1 run.

There's No Place Like Home: Chris Young, Padres - If it were possible, Bud Black should really consider messing with the rotation so that Chris Young only pitches games at Petco. Never have I seen a pitcher with such glaring differences in their home/away splits. At home this season, Chris is 4-0 with 28 strikeouts, 9 walks and a 2.25 ERA. On the road, he's 0-2 with 16 strikeous, 16 walks and a Dan Napientek-esque 8.03 ERA. Naturally I blame Joel Southern.

AIDS of the Throwing Arm: Ricky Nolasco, Marlins - At one point considered to be the possible ace of a young fireballing Marlins rotation. Now he's in AAA New Orleans. Fantasy owners that couldn't dump him in a trade a few weeks ago are now stuck with either letting him rot on their bench, or finally taking him back behind the fantasy shed and putting him out of his misery. Do what you think is most humane.

Freddy Sanchez Award: Jason Bartlett, Rays - To the guy that is currently making a run at the batting title while everyone says, "Where the fuck did he come from?" Astute fantasy owners knew of the shortstop Bartlett for a cheap source of stolen bases, but I don't think anyone expected this kind of offensive output thus far. Bartlett currently leads the AL with a .373 AVG, he has 14 steals already and his 7 home runs are already a career high for him. With 30 RBI on the season, he's 7 away from matching his 2008 total.

Give These Guys a Greasy Taco:

Mark Reynolds, Dbacks - 10/28, 4HR, 9RBI, 6SB
Joe Mauer, Twins - 11/24, 4HR, 13RBI
Michael Cuddyer, Twins - 13/29, 4HR, 12RBI
Mark Teixeira, Yankees - 12/27, 5HR, 10RBI
Jason Marquis, Rockies - 2W, 1.72ERA, defying logic and reason
Jonathan Broxton, Dodgers - 2 more saves, stud fees still going up
Jake Peavy, Padres - 6IP, 10K, 1 giant FU to the White Sox
Heath Bell, Padres - 3 saves, still hates ESPN

Give These Guys a Taco Filled with Cilantro:

The entire Cubs offense - 1 sad trombone
Chris Davis, Rangers - 1/19, 64 strikeouts already on the season
Pudge Rodriguez, Astros - 2/18, in danger of dropping career AVG below .300, retire already!
Francisco Liriano, Twins - 4IP, 7 ER, 3BB, 1K
Manny Parra, Brewers - 3.1IP, 21.60 ERA
Jorge de la Rosa, Rockies - 3.2IP, 7 ER, 5 BB, 1K