Anti-All Star Team: Part II

May 05, 2006 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

Well last friday I posted the American League starters for the Anti-All Star Team. Now I'm tackling the National League.


FIRST BASE - Lance Niekro, SF - The son of legendary knuckleballer Joe Niekro is batting .203 with 1 homer in 75+ AB. His play is just like former Giants 1B J.T. Snow, except without the Gold Glove defense.

SECOND BASE - Jeff Kent, LAD - Sadly Jeff will probably get voted to the actual All-Star team, despite the fact he's done little so far this season to deserve it. Everyone's favorite backwoods middle infielder hick is batting a dismal .181, and has shown a real lack of power with only three extra-base hits. Maybe he needs to butt heads with a teammate in order for him to get him fired up? (i.e. Bonds, Milton Bradley) Kent was recently beaned in the head by San Francisco's Brad Hennessey. I tried to find a video clip to link to but had no luck. Dang.

THIRD BASE - Joe Randa, PIT - You could make an argument that Aramis Ramirez could be here. But despite the fact that I'm slightly biased, I would expect A-Ram-Ram's bat to pick up here in the coming weeks. So that basically leaves us with Joe Randa. This really shouldn't be a shock. Joe hasn't had an overly great season in quite a while. Randa should feel right at home in Pittsburgh since the Pirates are basically the Royals of the NL, with a slightly better farm system.

SHORTSTOP - Royce Clayton, WAS - I was all ready to put Rafael Furcal on here with his .200 AVG, but felt he still has contributed more to his team than Clayton has with the Nats. Despite his lack of hits, Furcal has drawn 18 BB to his 16 K's. Meanwhile the 36 year old Clayton is batting .229 with 19 K's and only 7 BB with no homers and no steals. I guess Nats fans can take solace that they're no longer starting this guy at least.

CATCHER - Mike Piazza, SD - Here's another one that will probably get the starting gig in the real All-Star Game despite catchers that deserve it much more. And for you Padre fans scoring at home, Ramon Hernandez: .313, 4 HR, 20 RBI; Mike Piazza: .222, 3 HR, 6 RBI. Recently, backup catcher Doug Mirabelli was traded back to Boston so he could catch for Tim Wakefield. Or so they say. Clubhouse insiders say the real reason Mirabelli was sent back was due to his growing discomfort with Mike invading his "personal space". It all came to a head last week when Mike offered to rub out a sore shoulder of Doug's. Luckily we were able to get a photo of the incident to share with you.

OUTFIELD - Cliff Floyd, NYM - Well, we can say one thing. Cliff is at least perfoming better than his kidneys.

OUTFIELD - Reggie Abercrombie, FLA - I really know nothing about Reggie. I do know that his last name evokes thoughts of the most heinous clothing store ever created. Hey, you know what'd be cool? Lets go to the mall and shop at a store where everyone that works there is obviously cooler and better looking than you, and they're not afraid to show it. Oh, and while we're there, we'll get to listen to horrible techno/house music that's cranked at AC/DC-like decibel levels. Imagine, for $75 you can get a pair of jeans that look like a homeless man wore them for 12 years first, some bloody eardrums, and lower self-esteem. Awesome!

OUTFIELD - Chris Duffy, PIT - We'll close it out with another Pirate. Through 90 AB's this season, Chris has pretty much brought nothing to the table, batting .200 with 0 homers and 4 RBI. I will give him credit that he's been hitting a little better in the past week and in the last 9 days has bumped the AVG up to .200 from .169.