Realm of Red: Redhead of the Week

10:29 PM | Comments (1) | by Chaim Witz


Each week I will profile various redheads who paved the way for our own Thunder Matt. These men and women opened doors (often times kicking them in due to their fiery tempers) that would have otherwise kept Thunder Matt toiling in Independent Baseball leagues, shagging fly balls in Newark and frequenting seedy hotels. We tip our Cubs hats to these fair-skinned pioneers.

Today's Redhead: David Caruso

David Caruso is nothing if not a firecracker. Born and raised a New Yorker, David's acting jones and considerable talent landed him bit parts on CHiPs and TJ Hooker. Smelling stardom, David lurched forward, landing a small role in "Twins" with Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger, forming what is widely considered to be the greatest acting trio ever assembled on celluloid. After playing 'Kit Kat' in Hudson Hawk, David returned to his roots by going back to hour-long cop serials. This particular one, NYPD Blue was a massive success, more in spite of David than because of him.

Having finally achieved the success that he so craved, he immediately left the show for movie stardom. This led to "Jade" and "Kiss of Death", which in turn to led to the firings of numerous studio executives and overstocked VHS bargain bins at Wal Mart. After spiraling into a deep depression, complete with delusional thoughts of dying his hair, David pulled himself out of it, screaming 'Dammit, I'm a redhead!' and punching a mirror in a public restroom. This was quite disturbing to the Hispanic janitor who knew no English but he spoke nothing of the incident. It spurned David to take a big career gamble and go back to playing a cop on TV, this time in CSI: Miami. David is currently happy to be working and in the very near future plans to leave this successful show and star in a cop movie with Frank Stallone.

1 comments:

GovernorGrayDavis @ 10:21 AM, May 12, 2006

Thats the 2nd Jade reference I've seen this week. I now have to add it to my blockbuster queue.