A Thunder Matt Movie Minute

August 10, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

The Bourne Ultimatum: Chaim Witz has issued the following Ultimatum. "If you don't go see this movie I will hunt you down with the tenacity of a hungry wolverine, and when I catch you I will land two solid jabs to your kidney. I will then read you the collected works of Louis L'Amour and cook you a sensible dinner. Then, just when you feel like you have earned my trust I will pursue one of two options, dependent on my mood. Option A would involve me murdering you in a violent and horrifying fashion. Option B would involve me putting you on a workout regimen so extreme that your bones would creak and your muscles ache. After this two week regimen was completed I would put you on a boat to a deserted Icelandic continent and equipped with only a ballpoint pen, one ball of red yarn and a second edition copy of Stephen King's 'Tommyknockers', you would be forced to survive in the harsh, cold tundra using only the aforementioned items, combined with your wits, guile and newfound physique. As a side note, you would never be rescued and chances for escape are laughable." End.

The Bourne Ultimatum is the best action movie of the year and probably the best action flick since last year's Casino Royale. Better than than the second film, it is more on par with the first one and contains for lack of a more creative phrase, "non-stop action!" "A thrill ride that will leave you sweating like John Popper at a Saudi Arabian street fair!"

I recommend taking a refresher course on the first two before jumping headfirst into this one, as it does pick up right after the second film ended. So I guess really you only need to re-watch the second one, but since the first one is better, just quit your bitching and watch both. God, I'm sick of hearing you whine.

What does the plot entail? Oh you know. Jason Bourne discovering who he is. Same as the first two. What dazzles here are the chase scenes (the man can't stop running!) both on foot and by car. And the fights. It's the adrenaline equivalent of drinking a energy drink and a Jolt Cola back to back. And then dousing your body in coffee.

My only complaint is, that for the rumored $150 million budget they apparently couldn't find an affordable steady cam. Whatever you do, don't sit in the front row, as the motion sickness may spell the end of you. So there's your half star reduction. Although to be fair, at times the handheld camera approach adds to the realism and makes it feel as if you are not only witnessing the fights but actually getting punched as well. Yeah!

Thunder Matt Rating: 4.5 Thunderbolts Out of 5

Superbad: Superbad is crude, tasteless, offensive, juvenile and about as subtle as my last review. That said, it is hilarious. Did you like Knocked Up? Then you'll like Superbad. It was written by Seth Rogen and has a lot of the same actors from Knocked Up. Seth Rogen and friends are quickly becoming the Jewish Canadian Frat Pack.

The plot is the age old story of 3 nerdy seniors trying to get laid before they graduate. But the story is taken to such absurd and comical heights that you won't give a damn. It is quite possibly the American Pie of this generation. Am I still a part of this generation? I propose that no, I am not. Never-the-less, as an outsider of this generation, I still laughed my ass off.

Michael Cera of Arrested Development is positively brilliant in his role as sidekick to the fast talking Jonah Hill (think 'Vince Vaughn if he were young, fat and Jewish). And then there's 'McLovin'. Enjoy your fame while it last 'modern day DJ Qualls'. God, he's gonna be sick of people yelling 'McLovin!' twenty-five years from now.

This lags a bit in the middle (oddly the parts with the cops, one played by Seth Rogen, are the least effective), but like a haggard prize fighter in it for the money, comes back at the end to deliver a finishing blow. Well done men, well done!

Thunder Matt Rating: 4 Thunderbolts Out of 5