Top Five: European NBA Players of the 1980's

February 13, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

In a complete ripoff of "High Fidelity" I will be doing my own Top 5 lists of various items. The subjects of these lists will be ones provided to me on a whim from different people. I will concoct my top 5 regardless if I have any knowledge of said subject matter or not. Just remember that in the end, my list is right and I'm better than you.

Today's subject: Top 5 European NBA Players of the 1980's.

...and GO!

#5 - Detlef Schrempf
Schrempf was a bomber from long range. He formed a 3-point shooting powerhouse with Reggie Miller on NBA Jam. Schrempf also looked like Guile from Street Fighter II or perhaps James Keach's character from The Experts.

#4 - Vlade Divac
Really one of the first European players that I remember seeing. Thankfully it wasn't "smelling".

#3 - Mark Eaton
Actually he's not European. But god damn, he looks a monster from another dimension or planet. Mark Eaton's daily diet includes one small child.

#2 - Drazen Petrovic
Very much ahead of his time. Drazen really paved the way for future European players in the NBA. Died in a car crash before it was considered cool for basketball players to do so. Bobby Hurley tried and failed.

#1 - Rony Seikaly
Nicknamed "The Spin Doctor" for his love of the album Pocket Full of Kryptonite. That or because of some move he did under the hoop, I don't remember. Why is Rony #1? Because he banged Elsa Benitez, that's why. How many hot models have you been with? I rest my case.

Think you have a better top 5 than me? Post it in the comments. At the very least, we can see who can come up with the second best list.