Friday's Headlines

You're probably busy getting ready for the weekend (i.e. vegging out at your desk waiting for your boss to leave so you can ditch out too), so here's a list of some of the top sports headlines to keep you informed.

Rex Grossman Blows Out Knee, Likely Done For Year
Kyle Orton Alert Level Raised to 'Orange'

Jason Kidd to Play After Supposed Strike
Derek Bell Calls Kidd "Little Pussy Quitter"

Thousands of Fans Arguing Tebow's Case For Heisman
Fans Fail to Acknowledge Award for Supposed "Best Player" Has Been a Fucking Joke for Years

Another Pittsburgh Player Guarantees Victory
Practice Squad Cornerback Guarantees Win in Scrimmage Over First Team Offense

Cubs Still Await Fukudome's Decision
Bootleg White Sox Shirt Vendor Takes Gamble and Prints 'Fuck You Do Me!' Shirts Anyway

Michigan Hires New Football Coach
After Numerous Rejections, AD Says, "Fuck it", Hires Contact of Coach Instead

Marlins Trade Away Both World Series Trophies
Loria Gets Two Tee Ball Trophies and World's Greatest Grandpa Mug in Return