Overrated: The Mitchell Report

December 13, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Rich Funk

We should have known better. This whole thing had all the makings of a cocktease of epic proportions.

We should have known last night when news broke that there were going to be former "All-Stars and MVP's" named. Well duh...we already knew that. Hell, the inclusion of Ken Caminiti by himself covers those bases.

Sure, some good will come of this. There's a whole bunch of pages (that I skipped) in the report that talk about what baseball should do about the problem and steps they could take to help. But let's be serious here...we all came for the names. Frankly, I liked the list of fake names that was going around this morning.

Of course, the list in the Mitchell report is probably the tip of the iceberg. The majority of the players named today were the ones dumb enough to leave a trail, whether it's handwritten love-notes to the person buying for you (Paul LoDuca) or having their steroids shipped directly to the stadium (Jose "Oops" Guillen). Of course the big names are Clemens, Pettitte and Tejada, but we knew about those guys months ago when Jason Grimsley got busted.

The only joy I am getting out of this report is knowing that the Yankees have had a history of steroid users stretching from their glory days of the late 90's till now. Point and laugh at Chuck Knoblauch, Mike Stanton, Jason Giambi, Denny Neagle, Kevin Brown, Roger Clemens, and Andy Pettitte.

I don't know why I got my hopes up so much. I should have known that no huge names were going to get nabbed for 2 reasons:

1. Any halfway intelligent player would not get caught by this investigation because they would have someone they know call some guy they know who has a brother that met some dude that is best friends with a guy that could order the steroids for him. Why would you write a personal check for steroids? Why wouldn't you just use straight cash, homey?

2. The superstars of the game can afford HGH and unless they bought it from BALCO or some other place that's been busted by the Feds, they are still at large since there is no test for HGH in baseball right now.

First the Santana circlejerk and now this...

Overrated: This Offseason.

Read the report of you want. I'm sure there's other cool stuff in there. But when the most entertaining thing in there is finding out that Denny Neagle uses checks with little girly flowers on them, you know there was too much hype.