It's Getting Stale in Here

In the immortal words of Ryan White, "It's time for some new blood."

Since some of the bartenders have become lazy bastards, or in their words "too busy with work", I thought I'd bring in a new guy to spice things up, maybe even replace the shiftless layabouts. There's no resting on your laurels in the Saloon fellas! Brant Brown I'm on to you.

Please welcome Lingering Bursitis (LB) to TMS. LB previously wrote for the eponymous and now defunct Cubs blog, Lingering Bursitis, and currently writes at Feed Me Good Tunes. He also claims to comment on some site called Dead-spin, whatever that is. Give him a hearty TMS welcome.

*crickets*

LINGERING BURSITIS

Real Name: James

Where are you from? Liverpool, England

Where are you now? New York City [the dangerous part]

Favorite Baseball Team: Chicago Cubs

Favorite Current Player(s): Mike Fontenot, Hanley Ramirez, Fausto Carmona

Favorite All-Time Player(s): Ryne Sandberg, Rick Sutcliffe

First MLB game you attended: I got a late start to the party.... a 4-3 loss to the Mets in Shea Stadium in late-2004. Prior was lights out through 7 2/3, then LaTroy coughed up a game-tying 3-run HR with 2 outs in the 9th to Victor fucking Diaz and some dude named Brazell hit a walk-off HR in the 11th.

Any memorable encounters with MLB players? I ran into A-Rod on 56th street just a couple of weeks after the Yankees' 2007 post-season "run" ended. I thanked him for carrying my fantasy team when it mattered most, and as he walked away, slightly confused, I mumbled "you're still a prick, though" under my breath. I could have sworn that he heard me, as he hesitated slightly and began to turn his head, but he thought better of it and kept walking towards Park Avenue. Oh, and one time I got down to the expensive seats and told Paul Bako he should consider another line of work.

Which player(s) would you love to sit and have a beer with? Rick Sutcliffe. The drink of choice would be a 30-pack of PBR each.

Which player(s) would you like to punch in the face? Jose Macias, Neifi Perez, Joba Chamberlain [to see if his face is really made of cotton candy], Roger Clemens [to see if his face is really made of money and unbridled arrogance], Jim Edmonds, David Eckstein, A-Rod [to see if I could beat some sense into him].

Which player(s) would you like to punch you in the face? Adam Dunn or Richie Sexson, because I bet when they swing at me, they'd miss. [wocka wocka!]

What's better for baseball, the moustache or the big-league mullet? The mustache. I don't see how it could be anything else.

What 80's hair metal band do you most relate to? Manowar. They taught me that the way to a woman's heart is through wearing leather or leopard print speedos, and it's stood me in good stead ever since.

What's your favorite beer? Rogue Morimoto Ale. If I'm poorer: give me Brahma. That Brazilian lager is like lighter fluid mixed with methamphetamine. If I'm even poorer: PBR.

What's the capital of Bolivia? La Paz

What's the most valuable baseball card you own? I don't really own any.

If your daily life had game commentary, who would you want as your play-by-play and color guy? Steve Stone and Bobcat Goldthwait, with Erin Andrews in close for the sideline updates.

What would you rather see, Kyle Farnsworth in a barfight, a cockfight, or a hobo fight? I'd rather see him in a hobo fight, because I'd derive great pleasure from him being poor, desperate and homeless.

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