Yet Another New Bartender

8:55 AM | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

Yes, we have yet another new person on our staff. My plan to have enough people here so my lazy ass will no longer have to write anything is all falling into place nicely.

Anyway, this new guy, Max Foncito, will be our chief basketball correspondent, which is good since we don't have anyone on staff that really follows (translation: gives a shit) about hoops enough to write about it. Max enjoys watching the Cubs, the rich smell of mahogany, and high quality S&M porn. So without further ado I present to you the 12th bartender to grace the Saloon, Max Foncito.

MAX FONCITO

Real Name: Chris

Where are you from? Muscatine, IA

Where are you now? Blue Grass, IA

Favorite Baseball Team: Chicago Cubs

Favorite Current Player(s): Derrek Lee, Alfonso Soriano

Favorite All-Time Player(s): Mark Grace

First MLB game you attended: 1984 - Mets vs. Cubs @ Wrigley

Any memorable encounters with MLB players? Keith Hernandez once asked me to help him move into a new apartment. I thought it was too much too soon.

Which player(s) would you love to sit and have a beer with? Mark Grace

Which player(s) would you like to punch in the face? Lance Berkman, Big Gay Al Pujols, Ivan Rodriguez, Matt Clement

Which player(s) would you like to punch you in the face? Sid Bream

What's better for baseball, the moustache or the big-league mullet? The Goose Gossage moustache

What 80's hair metal band do you most relate to? Guns n Roses

What's your favorite beer? Blue Moon on tap

What's the capital of Bolivia? Jabooty is the capital of Jabooty

What's the most valuable baseball card you own? I used to own the infamous Billy Ripken "Fuckface" card at the height of it's value.

If your daily life had game commentary, who would you want as your play-by-play and color guy? Harry Caray and Steve Stone

What would you rather see, Kyle Farnsworth in a barfight, a cockfight, or a hobo fight? I would rather see Kyle Farnsworth in an all out barfight. He would throw wild punches and give up a grand slam to his face.

0 comments: