The Gist: Game 78

June 25, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Rich Funk

Cubs 7, Oreos 4

The Cubs have the #1 offense in baseball, especially at home. So expect to see the cowardly behavior that the Orioles' pitchers' showed tonight more often. Scheduled Orioles starter Brian Burres got so scared of the Cubs lineup that he suddenly "got sick" 2 hours before the game. Spot starter Matt Albers only got one out before crapping his pants and heading back to the clubhouse to cry in the shower. By the time the second inning was over, the Cubs were up 6-0 and cruised the rest of the way to victory.

The Good: Geovany Soto went 2-3 and knocked in 3 runs. being a catcher is a tough job and can easily wear a player down physically. Apparently Soto banged up his hand a bit and has been in a slump this month, hitting only .206, so it's nice to get games like this from the would-by Italian.

The Bad: Isn't it always the Jay Payton types that seem to light the Cubs up? If it's not Jay Payton, it's Jody Gerut or Gabe Kapler or Wes Helms or some other "That guy is still playing?" dude that seems to have those monster games against us. But at least it happened in a game where the Cubs were able to punch across enough runs to negate it. Just like I punched a few across Chaim's mom last night! Hey-O!

The Ugly: Jim Edmonds hit another jack. As Chaim said yesterday, this guy is trying as hard as is humanly possible to get Cub fans to like him. Reed Johnson won us over, but he was never a Cardinal. I don't know yet if I can stop hating him. But if he keeps knocking them out of the park and making the Padres look stupid for letting him go, I don't know if I'll have a choice. His last 4 hits have all left the ballpark. For some reason, every time Edmonds connects with the ball, it gravitates toward Boys Town. Now I'm not saying that Jim Edmonds is gay, but I'm not not saying that either.

Tomorrow: Jason "de Sade" Marquis is up against Radhames "My First Name Sucks" Liz. Don't let Liz's 1-0 record fool you. That 6.27 ERA is ripe for a pounding, as is your mother!