TMS Beer Project: Modelo Especial

June 07, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Governor X

With the name Saloon included in our moniker, one could surmise that we here at TMS like to drinky drinky. One that would make such an assumption would be correct, thereby throwing out the whole, 'when you assume you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me' bullshit. We also like to plagiarize each other. In the same vein as the Wrigleyville Bar Project, we are now proud to unveil the TMS Beer Project. The premise is simple: we review beers. Each rating will feature a variety of scores from 1-10 and comments from the bartender. This is a public service damn it. We don't want you to be the sucker who pays $15 for a six pack of some overrated Belgian cat piss.

Now, we all drink massive amounts of beer so we know what we speak of. Each of us seem to have a favorite style of beer though. I myself like cerveza from south of the border. Will we be reviewing macrobrews like Bud and Coors? Oh you bet your Aunt Susie's ass we will. For purposes of this science experiment, and it is in the name of science, those will be the "control" group. Use them as a base line for when we review lesser known imports and microbrews. Without further ado, I bring you our first beer:

Modelo Especial

Brewery: Cerveceria Modelo, Mexico City, Mexico
Type: lager
Recepticle: can

Drinkability (1 being Jim Jones' kool-aid, 10 being the nectar of the gods): 3 - Far from cyanide laced kool-aid, but a damn sight away from being the sweat of merciful Vishnu himself. Basically boring and completely inoffensive. Perfect to order for your white trash girlfriend from Riverside when you take her to the cheap Mexican dive with the really hot salsa, but not for the serious beer aficionado.

Heartiness (1 being fresh mountain spring water, 10 being a pureed British steak infected with mad cow disease): 3 - Not even as hearty as the water in Mexico City where its brewed, but not too heavy. Kind of like carbonated Kentucky tap water.

Intoxication (1 being your friend's weird pentecostal grandmother high on Jesus, 10 being Boris Yeltsin on a week long bender in the Crimea): 1 - I had a 24oz tall boy and felt nothing. Now, I can't drink like I used to, but 24 ounces of beer ought to make me feel more than thirsty.

Celebrities You May See Drinking This Brew: That guy who played Chespirito, Lindsay Lohan (she's an alcoholic).

Affordability ($ being chicklets in Tijuana, $$$$ being diamond encrusted braised lamb shank from a trendy cafe on the Champs d'Elysee): $ - The tall boy was $2.29 at the overpriced local market, not too shabby.

Overall: 3 - All in all a pretty weak entry from mis amigos in Mexico. I read online that Modelo is the beer of the masses down in Mexico (translation: Budweiser). That sounds about right. I'm glad I only popped for a tall boy and not an entire six pack.