Christmas Eve 2008

December 24, 2008 | Comments (0) | by T.R.

So, word on the street is that Santa was stuck in O'Hare last night, got piss drunk, stole a security guards gun, and accidentally shot himself in the neck inside the Chili's in Terminal 2. Bummer. Would have made a hell of a wild card pick in the Death League.

Tonight, and tomorrow, remember that Santa Claus died for your sins. Then you can quickly forget about him by buying yourself something nice during the post-Christmas sales. Take advantage of companies like Circuit City that won't make it through the first quarter of 2009.

If you have a steady income, be thankful. If you've lost your job, maybe it's time to go back to school or work on that invention that you always talk about. Either way, try to avoid panhandling.

If nothing else, remember that alcohol is your friend, and it's good to take advantage of your friends. Merry Xmas.