NFL Playoff Picks: Round 1

December 29, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Rich Funk

The regular NFL season is over. Playoffs, bitches! Tom Brady? Sitting at home. Although he didn't play this year, so he'd probably be sitting at home either way. Then again, if he wasn't hurt, maybe the Patriots would not be sitting at home. My head hurts. Beer please?

Anywho, we've got Sad Tom Brady to come and do some predictions for us. Leave your picks in the comments and see how you do stacked up against an authentic NFL Superstar! Whoever picks the most games correctly wins a free copy of Step Up 2 The Streets!

Atlanta at Arizona

I really don't know either of these teams. From what my people tell me, Arizona is full of old people. Atlanta is full of rappers, hot young women and Ted Turner. Now that I'm engaged, I need to tone down the booty-lovin' some. Since Gisele might be reading this, I'm going to go with the Cardinals over the Falcons.

Indianapolis at San Diego

You know who I can't stand? Phillip Rivers! What a punk! If he was my kid, I'd...ignore him, like I do with my current son. I have a kid? Could've fooled you, right? Anyway, I'll take Indy over the Chargers.

Baltimore at Miami

If I don't pick the Ravens, Ray Lewis may find me and kill me. If I don't pick Miami, Joey Porter will feed me to his dogs! What's a super-awesome, handsome, suave, pimptastic dude like me supposed to do? I'll take the Ravens to win. Ray Lewis has actually killed a man and gotten away with it.

Philadelphia at Minnesota

Who would ever take a team with one of the Jackson 5 at quarterback? That guy has to be in his 40's by now! What? Of course I know what I'm talking about! It's Michael, Tito, Jermaine, Tavaris and Samuel L. I'm taking Philly over the Vikes.