Lost Diary

January 07, 2010 | Comments (0) | by White Chili

After all the initial introductions, plot, etc...I'm back for more; this time armed with a fresh pot of coffee and a sandwich.

Season 1, Ep. 3

Back on the beach. The cop is talking to Jack about his missing handcuffs and Jack learns that Kate is the criminal. So much for that mystery. Sayid is giving us a geography lesson with a rock and a stick. Sawyer suggests that they turn their attention back to the haunting broadcast they heard a bit earlier. He looks like he should be working at PacSun. He's smarter than he looks. Sayid suggests they keep this nugget of information secret. I'm sure that won't have any repercussions. Hurley finds out about Kate.

More gun talk. I say they give it to Sawyer, who managed to kill a charging polar bear with a handgun. Smash-cut to Kate's backstory. Annie? She helped an old Australian farmer with a fake arm. Alrighty. Back to the present. Kate breaks the pact! That took less than ten minutes.

Surprise, Hurley doesn't want to go into the plane. Jack and Sawyer have an enlightening back-and-forth. Shellfish AND heavy lifting for the pregnant woman? At this pace she will give birth to a chicken burrito. Hurley is afraid of everything. With his shadow we would always have six more months of winter.

Back to the Kate/Annie story. She's leaving the farm but is persuadedto stay one more night. "Everyone deserves a fresh start."

Ominous music.

The marshall wakes up and strangles Kate until Jack intervenes. How hard can it be to defend yourself against a guy who just underwent major surgery on a beach with a straight razor? Kate wants Jack Kevorkian to off the guy. Jack doesn't respond well to this. Back to Kate being driven to the train station. There's a black (evil) suburban following them and we find out the farmer sold her out for the reward money. Bummer.

Now we know checkers' name is Mr. Locke. The secret was that a miracle happened to him. That doesn't help at all. The search for Vincent continues. That doesn't sound like a golden lab. NAKED! Locke is making a whistle. Perhaps he has a future in Drive Shaft. Why are they making 12 separate small fires instead of keeping one large one burning? There's only one bullet left in the gun. Back to the outback. Kate flips the truck and saves the one-armed man but gets caught. Hurley calls Kate "the fugitive" but she SAVED the one-armed man. GUNSHOT! I know what happened. Wait, I was wrong. Sawyer shot him...in the chest. Dumbass.

I bet Locke's whistle is to call the dog. Ha! I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE! Here we go: what Kate did. Or not. Again, starting over. I'm beginning to think that's some sort of "theme". Everyone is BFF now, even the Osmonds. F-A-T-E to L-A-T-E. SLOW MOTION RUN TO VINCENT! Wait, more ominous music and Locke. C'mon!

Season 1, Ep. 4

They really love using the "zoom in on the opening eye" shot. Vincent knows there's something afoot. What's in the plane? Wild boar. Jack thinks they should burn the bodies so they won't attracts more animals but Sayid protests saying that it would be disrespectful.

Sayid is like the professor on Gilligan's island. Next on the docket, a coconut iPod. A blue one, please. Hurley and Sawyer are fighting over the last peanuts. Food committee: fail. Things Locke knows a lot about: backgammon, whittling, throwing knives and wild boars.


TPS reports. Nice.

C'mon people, put the knives on sticks and make spears. Doesn't anyone watch Man vs. Wild? Claire says her little burrito is doing well and thinks they should hold a memorial for the dead in the plane. Clearly Jack = Science and Claire/Sayid = Religion.

"Yes yes, I am the bass guitarist for..." Classic Charlie.

Back to the jungle. YES. Locke is like Danny from Predator. "Ain't no man." Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to talk instead of use signs. Is Locke playing Risk? His stock is rising by the minute. Locke's boss Randy is a gigantic asshole. "Don't tell me what I can't do."

Charlie and Hurley fishing was brilliant. Locke's first name is John? That's interesting. Perhaps Locke is also an empiricist? Yikes, Helen costs $89.95 an hour and doesn't want his extra walkabout ticket. That's awkward...um, does anyone need a refill on coffee?

Kate climbs trees like a ring tailed lemur! Annnnnd Locke sees the huge thing in the jungle. But we don't. Charlie likes Shannon. That is, until he finds out he was used. Women are cruel.


Kate thinks Locke is gone. Locke is not gone. There's Locke! With dinner! Names being read. Charlie is almost out of hash. Jack is not among those mourning the dead.

The walkabout company...LOCKE COULDN'T WALK AND NOW HE CAN!

Dammit, the Championship is on tonight. That's going to cut into this. I'll have to put in some OT tomorrow.