TMS Fantasy Hurricane Draft Preview

May 01, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

Well the NFL draft has come and gone, and we can all now focus on the draft that truly matters. I'm of course referring to the 2007 TMS Fantasy Hurricane League draft. We created the league last year, mainly out of sheer boredom once it was realized the Cubs season was in the toilet. Sadly following natural disasters last summer wasn't any more exciting than watching the disaster unfold at Wrigley, as the Atlantic hurricane season proved to be much more mild than had previously been forecast. Chaim won solely off the performance of Ernesto. Here's the link to last year's draft and scoring system if you're interested. We'll be sticking with the same scoring format with only one change. Bermuda will be added to the storm landfall list with a value of 5 points.

Anyway, let's break down the potential storms for this season. This year's list of hurricane hopefuls make their long-awaited return after a fairly productive 2001 season. Of the 17 named storms, three left their indelible mark and were retired. They were Allison, Iris, and Michelle. Taking their place this year are rookies Andrea, Ingrid, and Melissa. Melissa will have the toughest shoes to fill as the M storms have been retired the last two seasons this list has appeared (Marilyn was retired in 1995).

Here's a brief rundown of the rest of the '07 field.

Barry - Only reached Tropical Storm in 2001, making U.S. landfall. A crafty veteran in the pack, Barry has been around for over two decades but has never quite lived up to the hype of his 1983 debut, in which he earned a career-best Category 1 status. As such, Barry is often referred to as the Jerome Walton of storms.

Chantal - Chantal is another veteran storm with an unpredictability streak that is typical of storms with stripper names. Despite success in the 1980's, Chantal suffers from self esteem issues and hasn't achieved greater than TS status since 1989.

Dean - Reached Category 2 in '89 but overall Dean lacks a discernible mean streak. I mean honestly, when you think of Dean, what comes to mind? This guy, right?

Erin - All the intangibles are there for Erin to be a retired storm. A three-time hurricane in her career, she's always had the power but has trouble making contact. She's the Dave Kingman of the group.

Felix - Felix might as well be Erin's twin brother. Another three-time hurricane, but unlike Erin, has never made substantial landfall in his career.

Gabrielle - Gabby made her debut in 1989 as a powerful Category 4 that never made landfall. While she's made landfall twice since, she's never been able to recapture the power.

Humberto - Humberto is the equivalent of the post-Elway era Broncos QB. Filling the shoes of the mighty Hugo after his retirement in '89, Humberto has been a relative bust. Despite reaching category 2 in 1995 and 2001, he has yet to make any significant landfall.

Jerry - With a penchant for trailer trash, Jerry has been very successful at finding land, striking the U.S. two different times.

Karen - A perennial underachiever, Karen was actually wiped out by Iris in 1995, when the more powerful storm absorbed her. Nonetheless, Karen comes from a historic lineage. Typhoon Karen terrorized the Western Pacific throughout the 1950's and '60's.

Lorenzo - Lock up your daughters, here comes Lorenzo. Making his debut in 2001 for the retired Luis, Lorenzo failed to make any real waves (pun intended), only reaching TS status and fizzling out in the middle of the Atlantic. Also goes by the name of Hurricane Buzanis.

Noel - Noel has been a hurricane twice without ever making landfall. Often criticized for ripping off his style from Hurricane's Paul, George, John, and Ringo.

Olga - Made her debut in 2001, replacing Opal to little fanfare. After failing to reach any land, she fucked up a single yacht in the Atlantic, basically just to be a dick.

Pablo - A virtual recluse. Pablo made a brief appearance in 1995 as a tropical storm, and hasn't been seen or heard from since.

Rebekah - A replacement for the retired Roxanne in 2001, Rebekah never made it up to the show that year. With expectations high for a busy year, we'll see if she gets a cup of coffee in '07.

Sebastien and Tanya - Sebastien and Tanya have only made appearances in one season (1995). Neither achieved much. Tanya did hit the Azores which isn't entirely common. What? You don't know where the Azores are? Well they're an island chain immediately west off the coast of Portugal. Their chief exports are- huh....what's that? Oh, you said you don't care? My bad.

Van and Wendy - These two are the journeymen minor leaguers of the group. Neither have ever made it to the show. The only W name to ever make it was Wilma, the Lawrence Taylor of storms.

So there's your 2007 draft class. Stay tuned as we will bring you the results of our draft sometime in the coming month.