Cubs Win! Time for Chili!

September 01, 2009 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

So the Cubs won tonight 4-1 against the Astros. We're still in the playoff hunt! Wooo! Yeah!....yea....ugh.... I got nothing.

This cooler weather just reminds me it's time for football which means it's time for chili. Thankfully our resident frat boy at TMS, White Chili shared with us the secret recipe for his world class Fraternity Chili.

- Buy 30 containers of Wendy's chili.
- Pour chili into large pot on stove.
- Pour in liberal amount of Jim Beam
- Let pot simmer for 40 minutes
- While simmering, listen to Creed's "My Own Prison" on full blast
- Angrily masturbate into a dirty tube sock
- Take a swig of Jim Beam
- Sob into your pillow for 5 minutes
- After sobbing, tell yourself "I'M A MAN! STOP CRYING!"
- Angrily hatefuck pillow
- Take another swig of Jim Beam
- Chili should be ready
- Pour chili into large popcorn bowl
- Sit in easy chair
- Eat large bowl of chili while watching SpikeTV or Versus until you finish or pass out

Rockies in 6!