About a week ago, I was staring at yet another bottle of shitty vodka, wondering what I could possibly say about it for the next installment of the TMS Booze Project. For the first time ever, I was dreading getting drunk. But then I remembered an article I had read about infusing vodka with Skittles. This led me to what is probably my crowning achievement in life...
COUNT CHOCULA INFUSED VODKA
Before I get into the merits of my creation, I'll run you through the infusion process.
First, you'll obviously need vodka. Most online vodka infusion tutorials tell you to use good vodka. I used Kamchatka Vodka; one of the cheapest brands available. It turns out that this wasn't a bad choice for infusing with a breakfast cereal. My advice is to use a quality vodka if you're using a quality infusing-agent.
After that, you'll need an ingredient. Skittle-infused vodka seemed like all the rage a few months back. Sounds like a great choice, as you can easily snare children into your lair with candy-flavored vodka. The downside is that you have to separate every single skittle by color, which seems tedious. I've seen Vodka infused with peppercorns, pearl onions, oranges, blueberries, etc. Nearly anything can be used. Let your imagination soar.
Other items you'll need are:
- an airtight container
- a slotted spoon
- a pitcher/large bowl
- some sort of filter
- a funnel
Put the desired amount of your infusion ingredient in the airtight container, pour in the vodka (save the empty bottle), seal that bitch up, stash it in a cool/dry place, and wait.
The length of time you have to give it depends on the ingredient. Vanilla beans supposedly take about a week; fruit takes only about two days. I let the cereal-infused vodka sit there for 4 days.
When it's time, open the container and use the slotted spoon to remove the large pieces of whatever you infused the vodka with. It was at this point that I realized the Count Chocula nuggets absorbed about half the vodka, making a soggy mess and giving me a much smaller amount of vodka to drink.
Then, pour your creation through the filter and into a pitcher or large bowl. The tutorial I read suggested using cheesecloth as a filter. I doubt many people have cheesecloth laying around. If you have it, that's fucking great. I used a mesh spoon.
Once you've filtered out all the debris, you're ready to pour the vodka back in the original bottle. A funnel comes in handy. I didn't use a funnel (because I don't have one) and ended up spilling a good portion of my already depleted concoction.
That's all there is to it.
I'm sure you're burning with questions, so I'll answer the two most obvious...
1) How did it taste?
It tasted just like Count Chocula. No nasty vodka taste; just the chocolaty flavor of the Count's sweetened breakfast treat in a liquefied 80 proof version. This isn't something I'd want to drink all the time, but this shit would be great for a Halloween party, or Saturday mornings.
2) Count F#&%ing Chocula? Really?
Shortly before last Halloween, I ordered a dozen boxes of Count Chocula from Amazon. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I figured that if I only managed to eat one box per month, I'd be done just in time to order more for next Halloween. By the time I got to the second box, I never wanted to eat another bowl. Even after giving boxes away as gifts, I still had more. Nearly a year later, I'm finally on the last box, which is set to expire in a couple weeks. Perhaps I'll be making Boo Berry & Frankenberry vodkas in the near future.