TMS Beer Project: Part One of the New Glarus 12 Pack Sampler

11:00 AM | Comments (0) | by Zachary Kenitzer

With the name Saloon included in our moniker, one could surmise that we here at TMS like to drinky drinky. One that would make such an assumption would be correct, thereby throwing out the whole, 'when you assume you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me' bullshit. We also like to plagiarize each other. In the same vein as the Wrigleyville Bar Project, we are proud to bring you another installment of the TMS Beer Project. The premise is simple: we review beers. Each rating will feature a variety of scores from 1-10 and comments from the bartender. This is a public service damn it. We don't want you to be the sucker who pays $15 for a six pack of some overrated Belgian cat piss. Now, we all drink massive amounts of beer so we know what we speak of. Each of us seem to have a favorite style of beer though. Will we be reviewing macrobrews like Bud and Coors? Oh you bet your Aunt Susie's ass we will. For purposes of this science experiment, and it is in the name of science, those will be the "control" group. Use them as a base line for when we review lesser known imports and microbrews. Without further ado, I bring you our next beer(s):

New Glarus Brewing Sampler

So a few weeks ago I went up to Wisconsin and while I was there I picked up two 12 packs of New Glarus Brewing Company Samplers. I have had their most famous beer, Spotted Cow, numerous times on tap and in-bottle at many local establishments in Wisconsin, so having tried their flagship I wanted to explore the world of New Glarus a bit more. While we in Louisville here have the BBC (which is the only company that bottles), or Bluegrass Brewing Company, there isn't much in the way of local brewing that you can buy in a store. My personal favorite place here is Cumberland Brews (For the record: I disown Kentucky Ale. Its way to expensive, nasty and made in Lexington where beer should never be made.)


Dancing Man Wheat

Type: German Style Hefewiezen

Receptacle: 12 ounce bottle (with Cubs Jersey Coozie)

Drinkability (1 being Jim Jones' kool-aid, 10 being the nectar of the gods): 8
Strong willed wheat beers aren't for everyone but this is a nice smooth one that has a fresh crisp taste that is great for a sweltering summer day.

Heartiness (1 being fresh mountain spring water, 10 being a pureed British steak infected with mad cow disease): 8
Since it is bottle conditioned it is extra yeasty, allowing the flavor to reach every corner of your mouth. It is very filling and you should consider not eating for a while if you intend to drink three of these. It is also mandatory that you take a 15-30 minute break after drinking to assume the "Grandpa" position in your Lay-Z-Boy recliner.

See: Grandpa Position

Intoxication (1 being your friend's weird pentecostal grandmother high on Jesus, 10 being Boris Yeltsin on a week long bender in the Crimea): 7
For a Hefewiezen its par for the course, but for your average run-of-the-mill person you're looking at getting hammered off of 4 of these bad boys in a short time span.

Overall: 8.5
I've had better, truer, hefewiezens but this is a good domestic version of one, in fact one of the better domestic versions that I have had.

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