Bartender Banter: Delicate Sound of Thunder

August 02, 2006 | Comments (0) | by Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan

I didn't watch last night's 9-3 win over the D-backs. I was busy with other things and wasn't able to see it. Which is too bad because a) I missed Rich Hill's first major league win, and b) Thunder Matt went yard. Murton's 5th homer of the season was his first since Memorial Day. One has to wonder at this point what's going on. This is the same redheaded manchild who last season hit 7 homers in 140 AB's, or roughly half of what he's had thus far this season. We here at the Saloon still love Thunder Matt. We just were hoping for a little more 'thunder' is all. I guess we can take solace in the fact that his bat has woken up a little, as he finished up July hitting .360 on the month. Now if he could just translate those hits into extra bases, we may have something again. Of course his lackluster June at the plate must still be fresh in Dusty's mind, since he still gets benched for Devil Christian and Phat Bastard Phil.

Cedeno moves to 2B
So for the next few days Ronny will be practicing his foot and glove work from 2B as they prepare for his move to the new position following the recent acquisition of Cesar! Izturis. Of course this means we'll be subjected to Neifi at 2B for the rest of the week. While defensively a middle infield duo of Cesar! and Cedeno is solid, offensively we're not real impressed, especially with Cedeno. While I wish Ronny could figure things out at the plate, its likely not going to happen with the incompetent hitting coaches the Cubs currently have. So hopefully next year one of two things happens. Either the coaching staff is fired and we get some guys that can help the young hitters like Ronny and Thunder Matt improve. Or we sign a new 2B from free agency.

Izturis is not Neifi
Flash all the stat comparisions you want at me. I don't care. Cesar! Izturis is NOT another Neifi Perez. People actually like Cesar! Nobody except for Dusty likes Neifi. Nobody would start Neifi on their team except for Dusty, nor would they want him on their roster. Other teams would start Cesar! I could go on, but I've reached my quota of sweeping, subjective generalities.

Cesar! (at left) is what a real shortstop looks like. Neifi, doesn't look like this. Please, stop with the comparisons.

Uni Watch Moron Bashes Santo
So Paul Lucas, who regularly writes a column for's Page 2 about different uniform styles (reason #112 why ESPN has gone in the shitter), recently wrote in his Uni Watch blog about how horrible of an announcer Ron Santo is. Here's what he had to say.
    "I know we're all supposed to feel sorry for Santo, what with the diabetes and the amputations (insert pants/stirrups joke here), along with the Hall of Fame snub. But seriously, is there a bigger embarrassment on the airwaves than this guy? Has there
    ever been? Can't even imagine what it must be like to have to listen to this hokum on a daily basis."
The folks over at Goat Riders have been all over this. The reaction seems to be just about the same as the city of San Diego's when Ron Burgundy said to "go fuck themselves". Famine from Goat Riders put it best when he said, "While it's generally just good fun to make fun of the limbless, it's not alright to make fun of our limbless."

"Nobody talks about our Ron Santo that way! Paul Lucas is a dead man!"

Chris on Pace to Become First '06 Hurricane
TMS Fantasy Hurricane League

While Tropical Storm Beryl was pretty lackluster, Tropical Storm Chris is showing signs of reaching hurricane status. Chris looks to bring his fury on to the Bahamas in the coming days. I know the Governor is anxiously awaiting what will become of his first round pick.