CCP: Threesomes Are All the Rage

It's becoming clear to me that the Colin Cowherd Project is more difficult than I originally anticipated. It's one thing to force yourself to listen to a radio show that you hate, but it's a whole other ballgame to make yourself write about it every weekday. However, as grueling as this task may be, I know that I'm carrying it out for a greater good. A Herdless world is our goal, and together we can see this to fruition. On to the matter at hand...

Colin's monologue today dealt with the new team in the broadcast booth for the inauguration of Monday Night Football on ESPN. It centered on the third man on the telecast, the newest one being the debut of Tony Kornheiser. TK is mostly known to sports fans as one half of the show "Pardon the Interruption". He also had a long-running morning radio show on ESPN (Colin Cowherd actually replaced TK's show in many major markets). Most recently, along with his PTI duties, TK had been anchoring another radio show in the Washington, D.C. area.

Colin's gripe on one hand said that we need to tune in for a few weeks and give TK a chance to be successful, but at the same time, he kept hammering into our brains the fact that threesomes, as opposed to duos, rarely work out. He then waffled between these two stances, and named off about 10-15 threesomes that did work. But then he brought up how Dennis Miller in the MNF booth clearly did not pan out. Holy Christ, will you make up your mind? He wanted to argue that threesomes rarely click, but then contradicted that stance in the same argument. He clearly had no argument at all at this point.

From here, Colin just begins to ramble, much as I am now. He says something to the effect of the third man in the booth being like the third wheel on a date. I don't know about you guys, but when I was a swingin' bachelor, I was always sure to bring one of my wisecracking buddies along on my dates, just to see how awkward things could get. Colin also ponders how well the sports viewing public knows Kornheiser, if at all. Well Colin, we can guarantee he's far better known than you will ever be. And for the analysis...

Was his topic/view informative?
Not really. He's telling us to give Kornheiser a chance before he's even had his first chance. Colin doesn't trust the people to make up their own minds on something. -1
Did he dig a little deeper than just re-hashing the top story?

Yeah, I'll let this slide. It was a good, different topic, I just wish he would have had something enlightening to say about it.
Did he give credence to the other side of the story?
This one doesn't necessarily apply. But it would be nice if Cowherd made an attempt later this week to get Kornheiser on The Herd to chat about tonight's experience. He probably won't think of that though.
Did he use a fake voice?
Yes. Howard Cosell. Does everyone have to imitate Cosell? It's not bad enough that every comedian does a Cosell impersonation, it's that they all think theirs is great, including Cowherd. You are not Howard Cosell. Quit trying. -1
Did he repeat one thought/idea/analogy incessantly?

Yes, this whole "threesome" analogy grew quite tiresome after about 12 minutes. This is especially the case when he was waffling back and forth, constantly contradicting himself. -1
Did he make an assumption or exaggerate to help prove his point?

Well, he pretty much assumed Kornheiser would bomb tonight. This coming from the guy that replaced Kornheiser. Interesting. -1
Did he contradict an earlier stance without saying he changed his mind?

One big contradiction wrapped inside his monologue. -1
Did he alienate a good portion of his listening audience (like presumably over 30%)?

Probably not, but I'm sure he pissed off Kornheiser fans. Then again most Kornheiser fans probably can't stand The Herd.

Final Score: 3 (out of 8) Makes me wonder if there really is any animosity at all between Cowherd and Kornheiser. Maybe they don't even know each other. We at ThunderMatt are rooting for Tony tonight.

Comments