Somewhere, Deep in the Heart of Texas, a Boombox Blares Triumphantly

June 20, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

Congratulations on number 600 Samuel. While some Cubs fans choose to forget all of the good times and unintentional humor you brought to the North Side, I shall not be counted among the embittered. I fondly recall the corked bat, the broken English and the inability to lay off the two-strike breaking ball. And who can forget the goatee?

Your feigned ignorance at the steroid hearings was bliss. How about that year in the Home Run Derby where you put on that massive power display, causing Chris Berman to pleasure himself on-air? I think it was later discovered that you were using a fungo bat.

You were never my favorite Cub even in your heyday, but that is merely because I have always shied away from throwing my allegiance behind what society deems to be the 'most popular' (give me an oatmeal cookie over the overrated chocolate chip any day!). And also because Mickey Morandini was on some of those teams.

None-the-less, I salute you Sammy. One of these days you and Gracie will make a triumphant return to the Wrigley Field. If Americans can exonerate OJ, you're golden.