Chaiming In

February 19, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

-For the first time since the Taft Administration, I watched the NBA Slam Dunk contest over the weekend. Oddly enough, I enjoyed it. Dwight Howard's 'Superman Dunk' made me leap from the couch and scream 'Spud Webb!' I was about 3/4 of the way through a bottle of Pinot Noir at that point. Magic Johnson was one of the judges/announcers. Pretty sure he still has AIDS.

-Clemens vs. McNamee. I've never been a fan of courtroom dramas. C'mon, is there any doubt that Clemens is guilty? I love how he tried to pawn everything off on his wife. Oh Rog. You're silly.

-What a devastating winter this has been in the Midwest. Just a swift kick to the genitals that makes you rethink your life and where it all went wrong. I can't leave my home. I'm about to go all 'Donner Party'.

-I'm excited for baseball. At least once a day I curl up in the fetal position (nude), with my face buried in a leather glove, weeping.

-I'm too lazy to type up full reviews, but for now, in short: In Bruges: See it. Semi-Pro: Rent It. Horton Hears a Who: Skip It.

-School shootings. Enough already. Needless to say...War Criminal: School Shootings. May those cowards responsible burn on the lowest circle of hell.

-I'm really excited for this Fukudome character. I think he's gonna be one of those guys who is much more valuable for his 'intangibles' than his raw numbers. He should get on base a ton, play great defense and deliver clutch hits when needed. He might not put up huge numbers but I think (damn you 'hope'!) that we've got ourselves a 'gamer'.

-Cubs sign Alex Cintron. Is this a concession to the fact that the Brian Roberts trade isn't going to get done? Or, as the Tribune suggests, a harbinger of another trade?

-Thunder Watch: Still here. Still our fourth outfielder. Still underrated.

-Lindsay Lohan nude in the New York Magazine. Sweet, I can probably legitimately buy that magazine and say that I'm buying it 'for the articles'. It's a flimsy excuse that wouldn't be admissible in a court of law, but much more plausible than if it were Playboy. (That link is work suitable, don't worry.)

Raves: Pinot Noir, Cardigans, Goose Island 312, dinosaurs (particularly the Triceratops), Spring Training, Adidas Onitsuka Tigers, Trader Joes' 'Tortilla Chips with an Identity Crisis' (horrible name for a great chip), iPod speaker docks.

Rants: Snow, cold, wind, shingles, The Knight Rider movie.