The Gist: Game #6

With the Cubs clubhouse sufficiently stocked with bananas and potassium supplements, Carlos Zambrano prepares to take the mound against the newly ethnic Houston Astros.

Soto needed the day off, no problem with that. But Johnson makes his second consecutive start in CF. Is it strategery on Piniella's part, or is he already losing faith in Pie at a Dusty Baker-esque pace?

No-hitter for Zambrano? Nope. A single and a double to start the game.

Berkman and Wigginton are out with injuries, but where is Biggio in the lineup? And for that matter, Bagwell doesn't appear to be playing first base.

Zambrano gets out of the first inning jam with a fantastic throw by Soriano to nail Michael Bourn at the plate. Zambrano is pumped. Who needs caffeine?

I predict Soriano will bust out of his slump today. Mark my words.

Fukudome catches a fly ball with Backe at third base. Backe does not challenge the F-Bomb. The Cubs have perhaps the best corner outfield guns in the league.

Oh yeah, the "Bud Light Real Men of Genius" are in the television booth. They can leave any moment now.

Bottom of the fifth, Soriano slams a hanging curveball into the left field basket. Now if he can string together a few more hits over the next couple days, all will be well.

Tejada just crushed a solo shot off Zambrano. Did we prove yet that Tejada did steroids? I'm pretty sure he's still doing them in the clubhouse today. Or maybe it's just B-12 that he's shooting into his butt.

Derrek Lee with a 397' shot deep into the left-center bleachers. Cubs lead 3-2.

Jose Cruz Jr. is on to pinch hit for the Astros. This guy has been around the block like few other in the majors. Is he the hitting equivalent of Mike Morgan? Possibly. But hey, he gets to spend every day with his dad. Do you think when they're on the road, Jose Jr. and Sr. go out to strip clubs together? Maybe they're religious, and they just go to church together every day. I find that hard to believe though. With Jr.'s relative crappiness and the fact that he's stayed in the big leagues so long, I'd have to say that he's juicing. Religious ballplayers don't juice. Jr. dropped the Lord and picked up the HGH. That does not make Sr. happy.

Kerry Wood and Kerry Wood's beard come on for the save in the ninth. Two groundouts and a strikeout of Tejada later, and it's another Cub victory. Keep rocking the beard Kerry.