Sammy Sosa has signed a minor league deal with the Rangers. Fart twice if you give two shits.
I can only hope he shows up to camp looking like the fresh faced, mustachioed rookie who loved papaya and salsa music and not the egomaniacal superstar who loved steroids, gold chains and cocaine plant.
For as big of an a-hole as he was at times in Chicago, I still sincerely do hope he does succeed at least on some level. Hell, I hope he at least makes the team. There would be a Donnie Moore-esque sense of sadness if he didn't.
Do you think he still uses a boombox? In this day and age one would hope he would have at least upgraded to an iPod by now. He can probably even afford those nice Bose speaker decks.