Osama Bin Laden: "Go Colts!"

January 31, 2007 | Comments (0) | by Governor X

I've known it all along...the FBI's #1 most wanted man, Osama Bin Laden, is an Indianapolis Colts fan. He's released a chilling new video in preparation of Sunday's Superbowl. TMS's correspondent in Qatar has provided us with a transcript:

Allahu Akbar.

You, the American people, I talk to you today about the best way to avoid another catastrophe in the Superbowl.

Contrary to what you may think, you aren't all infidels and great satans to us. Some of you are truly worthy of God's praise and love; those of you who play American football for the Indianapolis Colts. Only through a Colts victory in this Superbowl can your lives be vindicated.

The transgressions of the Bears and the zionists are well documented. Only Peyton Manning and the glorious Marvin Harrison can expel them from the lands long occupied by evil groups like the Steelers, so-called Patriots, Buccaneers, and Rams. A Bears' victory would be a terrible castastrophe and a crime against Allah.

There is only one team worthy of Allah, and Peyton Manning is their quarterback. May the mercy of God be upon them. Go Colts!

There you have it. Straight from the horse's mouth (not from Barbaro's mouth though, since, well, you know...). If the Bears don't win the Superbowl on Sunday, the terrorists do.