BREAKING NEWS!!!

1:00 PM | Comments (0) | by Rich Funk

Ladies and Gentlemen, scandal has rocked the Saloon today.

Been to the newsstand today? Check out the newest issue of TMS Weekly:


(Click To Enlarge. Like my wang.)

That's right...pictures have surfaced of our very own Chip Wesley, our fearless leader and co-founder of the Saloon, wearing a Cardinals hat. Apparently, this was during his college years. But this cannot be blamed on experimentation with homosexuality...er...drugs. No, Chip was a Cardinals fan.

Also seen in the picture is the Saloon's own Brant Brown. When asked why he didn't put a stop to Chip's Cardinal infatuation at the time, Brant said, "Mushrooms, man. I was taking so many mushrooms back then that he could have been wearing a live bear on his head and I wouldn't have noticed."

Obviously, this kind of shocking news is devastating to the Saloon. Brant Brown has been weeping uncontrollably for hours (although that may have to do with the constipation he has from eating nothing but Tortino's Pizza Rolls for a week). The Hundley has been brandishing Slumpbuster in a very aggressive manner since news broke. Clearly, we need some kind of explanation.

A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow morning where we'll have Chip Wesley on hand to answer all of your questions. Check back for updates. Huell Howser will be hosting.

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