TMS Beer Project: Tusker

July 11, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Governor X

With the name Saloon included in our moniker, one could surmise that we here at TMS like to drinky drinky. One that would make such an assumption would be correct, thereby throwing out the whole, 'when you assume you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me' bullshit. We also like to plagiarize each other. In the same vein as the Wrigleyville Bar Project, we are proud to bring you another installment of the TMS Beer Project. The premise is simple: we review beers. Each rating will feature a variety of scores from 1-10 and comments from the bartender. This is a public service damn it. We don't want you to be the sucker who pays $15 for a six pack of some overrated Belgian cat piss.

Now, we all drink massive amounts of beer so we know what we speak of. Each of us seem to have a favorite style of beer though. I myself like cerveza from south of the border. Will we be reviewing macrobrews like Bud and Coors? Oh you bet your Aunt Susie's ass we will. For purposes of this science experiment, and it is in the name of science, those will be the "control" group. Use them as a base line for when we review lesser known imports and microbrews. Without further ado, I bring you our next beer:


Brewery: East African Breweries, Nairobi, Kenya
Type: Lager
Recepticle: Bottle

Drinkability (1 being Jim Jones' kool-aid, 10 being the nectar of the gods): 6 - Tasty and fairly light (see below).

Heartiness (1 being fresh mountain spring water, 10 being a pureed British steak infected with mad cow disease): 4 - Not too heavy, but more than the usual American lager. Whenever I try a beer made from a British recipe, particularly one that originated during the Raj, I expect the mad cow drink. Tusker is surprisingly smooth. Nice and easy.

Intoxication (1 being your friend's weird pentecostal grandmother high on Jesus, 10 being Boris Yeltsin on a week long bender in the Crimea):
I'm going to give this a 7, keeping in mind its a relatively light lager. I definitely feel it a bit, which is more than I expected. The alcohol content isn't posted on the bottle, so it remains a mystery.

Celebrities You May See Drinking This Brew: Camilla Parker Bowles on safari with a couple cigarettes hanging out of her mouth, Manute Bol, Lindsay Lohan (she's an alcoholic).

Affordability ($ being chicklets in Tijuana, $$$$ being diamond encrusted braised lamb shank from a trendy cafe on the Champs d'Elysee): I have to give this a $$$$ since I didn't see six packs anywhere. Each bottle is about $2.50. That would come out to about $15/6 pack which is our threshold for being lamb shank expensive.

Overall: 7 - I enjoy this, but couldn't see it becoming a part of my regular routine because of the price. Well done Kenya, well done.