The Gist, Game #99

July 21, 2008 | Comments (0) | by Chaim Witz

D-Bags 2, Cubs Nada
Two brilliant starts by Richard Harden and no wins to show for it. After pitching seven masterful innings and striking out 10, Harden left trailing 1-0. One freaking hit is all he gave up. Of course, that one hit was a donkeypunch to some dude I've never heard of. Ceasar Romero or some shit like that.

The Cubs were stymied offensively by the the fugly likes of Randy Johnson, Micah Owings (huh, isn't he a starter?) and Chad Queefy Qualls. Ugh.

When your offense only musters two hits and they're by Reed Johnson and Jim Edmonds, you know that Fortuna's Wheel is spinning downward.

Aramis Ramirez, batting .188 in July. Mark DeRosa, .204. Fukudome, .182. I mean, seriously, what the crap? For those keeping track at home: CC Sabathia, 3-0 for the Brewers. Rich Harden, 0-1 for the Cubs. Cubs offense? FAIL.

Dammit Fortuna, do not make us bring back OJ. Don't think we won't do it.

*On a postive note, I was able to find the picture above by Googling 'hot chick in Cubs gear'. Oh Google, what did we do without you? Use