E-Claire's Kollege Kegger

Crack open a beer...Because college football season is officially underway! So each week, I will (attempt) to recap the best - and the worst - games for you in quick and easy fashion...Much like your girlfriend at a frat party...Zing!

Premium games on tap (The "Aren't you supposed to be a basketball school?" edition):

No. 19 South Florida def. No. 13 Kansas 37-34: I always enjoy a good game between 2 teams that aren't necessarily known as football "powerhouses." South Florida freshman Maikon Bonani kicked a field goal as time expired to give the Bulls the win. That's not a bad way to make your college debut. But the last-second field goal wasn't the only exciting point of the game...South Florida came back from 17 points down to take a 34-20 lead in the 4th quarter...Only to have Kansas make its own comeback, scoring 2 touchdowns to tie things up. Then Bonani kicked the winning field goal. Good game. And although Kansas lost, they seem to be shaking their reputation as just a basketball school.

North Carolina def. Rutgers 44-12: UNC won for the first time outside of North Carolina since 2002, and it was their biggest victory since 2001. They owned the Scarlet Knights. T.J. Yates threw three touchdown passes, Jay Wooten kicked 3 field goals, and Tyler Hansbrough added 12 points and 3 assists against Rutgers' terrible post defense.

Honorable mention: No. 24 Illinois def. Louisiana-Lafayette 20-17 (this game was way closer than it should've been); Maryland def. No. 23 Cal 35-27 (Cal's 4th quarter comeback wasn't enough to avoid the upset); Notre Dame def. Michigan 35-17 (insert Charlie Weis knee injury joke of choice here).

Games that resembled the foam at the end of a keg of Natty Light:

No. 18 BYU def. UCLA 59-0: I am a UCLA alum. I am still crying/drinking as I write this. Geez...THIS is how UCLA follows up their thrilling OT victory against Tennessee? 59-0?! The Bruins' worst loss in almost 80 years?! Shut out for the first time since 2001?! WHERE DID UCLA's DEFENSE GO?!! Awesome stat of the game: UCLA rushed for 9 YARDS. In his college career, freakin' Cade McNown rushed for 9 or more yards in a game 16 times!!! I know UCLA has injuries. I know they're supposed to be rebuilding. But this was embarrassing. Let's hope they can turn it around next week.

No. 1 USC def. No. 5 Ohio State 35-3: Collision at the Coliseum? More like "Slight fender bender where there's less than 500 dollars in damage and the two parties agree not to notify their insurance companies unless bodily harm is noticed within 2 weeks" at the Coliseum. Translation? This game was a snoozer! It started to go downhill for Ohio State when they had a touchdown taken away because of a penalty. Then it really started to go downhill for OSU when Rey Maualuga ran an interception back for a touchdown. Then it really really started to go downhill when USC kept scoring points and Ohio State didn't. I was hoping this game would be a nail-biter, and I was disappointed when it wasn't - especially since ESPN hyped it up all week. But then again, you can't blame 'em. Since the Yankees are pretty much out of the playoff picture, ESPN needed something to devote air time towards...

Huh?

No. 9. Auburn def. Mississippi State 3-2: No - I didn't accidentally take the box score from a baseball game. The only points scored in this game were an Auburn field goal and a Mississippi State safety. Worst. Game. Ever. That is, apart from the UCLA game. (How could they lose that BADLY?!!!)

TMS Alma Mater roundup (schools attended by TMS bartenders highlighted in green):

No. 17 Penn State def. Syracuse 55-13: Penn State's now 3-0.

San Jose State def. San Diego State 35-10: SDSU will look to get back on track in 2 weeks against Idaho.

Iowa def. Iowa State 17-5: Iowa scored 14 points in the 4th quarter to clinch the victory.

Florida State def. Chattanooga 46-7: When I saw this score at the bottom of the screen, I asked "Where the hell is Chatt University?" Then Daft Funk informed me that it was short for Chattanooga. I never claim to be a genius. I was also drunk.

No. 16 Oregon def. Purdue 32-26 in 2 OT: A tough double-OT loss for Purdue.

Euerka College def. Concordia 28-8: So let me get this straight...UCLA and Eureka College now have the same record? I'm not even mad, that's amazing.

Illinois Wesleyan University def. ALMA 48-34: Junior QB Kraig Ladd tied a school record with 6 touchdown passes. Does he want to come play for UCLA?

No. 18 BYU def. UCLA 59-0: We sucked. See earlier recap.

Northern Iowa- DNP this week.